Something old, something new, something awful

AO: Black Widow

When: 09/23/2023

QIC: Speedo

PAX (14): Cox, DeLorean, Ha-ha, Mater, Roundup, ShuttleCock, Skip-pe, Snowman, Speedo, Zohan, G-string, Mcenroe, Github, Corner Kick


My middle son is getting married in 3 weeks.  I figured we’d try a wedding-themed beat down because I’m the Q and I get to do whatever I want.  There’s an old tradition intended for what the bride wears on her wedding day but co-opted for my F3 brothers that says “Something Old, Something New, Something Borrowed, Something Blue”.  With a soccer game getting underway early, YHC quickly adjusted the order but still managed to get all of these covered.


Weedpickers x10 IC

Hillbillies x10 IC

Copperhead squats x10 IC


World’s Greatest Stretch while YHC explained the format of the workout

The Thang:

Something Old

An old expression suggests that marriage can be like a prison.  So we simulated this by doing 15 hand-release prison cell burpees.  Some guys were asking for a divorce about half way through.

Something New

We introduced the new (to me at least) Sneaky Gorilla.  It’s essentially a side lunge where your hands touch the ground (think sumo squat) and then you pivot 180 degrees and do it on the other side.  After 5 alpha count we stopped and did 5 monkey humpers.  Rinse and repeat with 10/10 and 15/15 the mosey to the top of the hill.

Something Borrowed

Borrowed from the men of Halo/Galaxy.  A series of suicides on the soccer pitch with various modes of travel to each of three lines (goalie box, penalty box, midfield) with 5 then 10 then 15 reps of a given exercise at each line. We did:

  • Bear crawls, merkins, crawl bears. We stopped at the midfield line and didn’t do the crawl bear back.  For that gift I was almost back in the good graces of the guys who wanted a divorce during the prison cell burpees.
  • Lunge walk, squats, reverse lunge walks. Reverse are much more difficult than forward IMO
  • High knees, diamonds, butt kickers
  • Just a good old fashioned all-out running suicide.

Something Blue

  • Big boi situps x30
  • London bridge (think dirty handshake) x20 on the steps by the spectator section
  • Upward dog merkins – basically imagine climbing under a fence without your torso touching the ground then back. X20
  • Elbows to knees x30 each side

Back to the flag as time expired


I had some technical issues posting this back blast so I forgot the prayers lifted up and for that I apologize.  It was a good morning with lots of mumblechatter and strong work by all.

Naked-Man Moleskin:

We modified the COT by asking each man to say in which country he was born.  Here’s the list:

  • Vietnam (x4)
  • USA (x5)
  • Ukraine
  • Israel
  • Nigeria
  • Brazil
  • Texas

This really underscores that F3 is open to ALL men and why our regular cadence of workouts can really draw men to us.  It was an honor to lead you guys today.

–Speedo out

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