The Dawn Crusade: Shouldering the Burden of Awakening

AO: Gladiator

When: 06/27/2023

QIC: Manchester

PAX (16): Chanel, Cheneral, Darkside, defcon2, Delicious, Macbeth, Manchester, Mater, Moonshine, RaspberryPi, Spandex, Speedo, Tebow, WhiteWater, Stiffler, Brownie


Greetings, brethren of the gladiator!

As the bard of this tale, I must regale you with the epic chronicles of a workout so valiantly titled, “The Dawn Crusade: Shouldering the Burden of Awakening”. Now, before we get to the meat and potatoes of this fabled workout, let’s address the elephant in the room, or in this case, the sleeping giant who usually neglects the dawn.

That’s right, folks, yours truly was indeed present and very much conscious at the crack of dawn, a feat as surprising to me as to any of you. Miracles do happen, it seems, and the power of the ‘snooze’ button was successfully overridden. I am proud to announce that the rumors of my morning laziness have been greatly exaggerated.

Now, for those who still can’t believe I, your Q for the day, was not only physically present but also mentally competent, I promise you – I had pinched myself several times to confirm. So yes, I was truly there, in all my sleep-deprived glory, ready to lead the noble gladiators of sweat on our journey to shoulder-shredding, stamina-stretching glory.

And now, onto the tales of our crusade. Sit back, grab a protein shake, and prepare to flex those reading muscles as you venture into the journey of iron and perseverance, where the shoulders of giants were tested and the fires of stamina were stoked.


Picture this: did the gladiators of yore have a chance to stretch, to warm-up their muscles before they stepped into the arena, facing off against wild beasts and fearsome opponents? No, they didn’t have the luxury of a gentle jog or a round of jumping jacks to ease their bodies into the brutality of combat. Their warm-up was the heat of the battle itself, their bodies instantly shifting into top gear, the adrenaline firing them up faster than any pre-workout ever could.

Much to Speedo’s displeasure, we moved like gladiators – straight into the fight.

The Thang:

Ah, the meat of our tale – the Thang! Now, my dear PAX, our tale truly takes on the color of the gladiatorial arenas of Rome. This is where we shall shoulder our burdens and conquer our fears, our bodies transforming into well-oiled machines, our spirits echoing the roar of the colosseum’s crowd.

Our arena of battle today: the football pitch, our very own Colosseum. But what’s a gladiator without their weapon, you ask? Worry not. Our dawn raid began with a mosey to our armory, the newly stocked coupon pile. Each of us claimed our steel, hefting it high above our heads in a triumphant Cusack all the way back to the goal line of our battle arena.

Our combat form: a brutal game of DORA. This is no child’s play, folks. One brave gladiator engaged in modified suicide Bernies, pushing their limits while their partner engaged in our deathly exercise regime. Together, they counted to 170, each rep a testament to their strength and endurance. The exercises included 170 skull crushers – a shoutout to the mortal peril real gladiators faced, 170 merkins – the foundation of our gladiator physique, 170 rows – each one drawing us closer to victory, 170 Bulgarian deadlifts – a salute to the ancient warriors of the world, and 170 bicep curls – because no gladiator is complete without a display of arm power.

After a brief respite to catch our breaths (we are still mortals, after all), we stormed to the other end of the field, the beast of 170 squats awaiting us. Ah, the sweet burn of it – the true essence of a gladiator’s life.

But the battle was not over. We moved on to a modified Mary mosey, a victory lap of sorts, punctuated by the return of our weapons to the armory. As the final act of our dawn saga, we marched, heads held high and spirits soaring, back to the flags for time.

And thus, dear reader, we concluded our dawn crusade – sweaty, battered but unbowed, much like the gladiators who inspire us. Through grit and determination, we stepped into the shoes of the warriors of yore, emerged victorious, and have lived to tell the tale.

So, let this be a reminder: we are more than just men braving the early morning cold. We are warriors, gladiators who rise with the sun to conquer the day. Our battlefield might be a football field, our weapons mere workout equipment, but our spirit is that of the gladiators.

Stay strong, fellow PAX, for we shall meet again at the dawn of a new day, ready to conquer new battles and create more tales of courage and strength. Until then, rest, replenish, and remember – the spirit of a gladiator rests within you.


Lift up DC2 in his job search, continue to pray for friends with medical challenges and that they are receivers of positive news and remember that helping one person everyday can not only change others lives and lift them up but it will also continue to lift you up as an individual.


Naked-Man Moleskin:

P.S I may have enlisted honorary PAX GladiatorGPT for help with the bb.

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