YHC has been reading Sherlock Holmes to the 2.0s lately and sharpening my powers of deductive reasoning in practical ways, namely:
Fact 1: Feathers was signed up to Q this morning, yet YHC observed him in a walking cast on his foot as recently as this past Saturday.
Through incisive examination of this evidence, YHC concluded that Feathers would, in fact, not be Q-ing Monday morning. As Hooch site Q, YHC contacted Feathers, turned this presumption into confirmed reality, and took the reins.
Fact 2: While moving canoes for Perimeter School’s Sign of the Beaver Day three weeks ago, YHC observed two fresh pallets of coupons next to the Perimeter pavilion.
An on-site visual confirmation of the persistent presence of these same pallets of coupons last night, confirmed in YHC’s mind that they must be incorporated into this morning’s beatdown as a throwback to the old H0.0ch Fridays.
Fact 3: The weather report forecasted light rain for Monday morning.
A happy coincidence, yet one that YHC would exploit, with a plan to conduct our coupon-heavy beatdown under the Perimeter pavilion, as in the days of yore.
A modest throng of six PAX circled up in the usual spot. With an FNG among them, YHC recited four of the five principles of F3, and Animal recited the fifth. Disclaimer was given and off we moseyed with high knees, butt kickers, and side shuffles along the way. Circle up beside Hurricane’s-turned-bakery for SSH, WP, WM, IW, LBAC Fwd/Bwd IC.
Thang 1: Travel in interesting ways to the pavilion
Mosey to Homer’s Donut. YHC pulled out the headlamp along the way to overcome the unexpected absence of the usual street light illumination. Bear crawl once around Homer’s Donut and mosey to the start of the big parking lot.
Partner up for Catch Me if You Can in the direction of the Perimeter pool.
Partner 1 does 5 merkins while Partner 2 does Bernie Sanders.
P1 moseys to catch up to P2, and the two switch.
Avoid tripping over curbs and PAX while Bernie-ing. End at the Perimeter pool.
Thang 2: H0.0ch
Mosey past the gate down to the pavilion. Keeping the same partner pairs, each pair picks one coupon off the pile for a Dora 1-1-1 (modified from 1-2-3 for time).
100 jump-over-coupon burpees
100 squat thrusters with coupon
100 coupon curls
Partner 1 does the reps while Partner 2 moseys to the gate and back. Swap jobs while accumulating reps as a team.
Once more exercising the power of deduction, YHC observed significant mumblechatter from the PAX as YHC barked out the prescribed exercise plan, with some saying YHC had intentionally designed this beatdown to really feel like a Monday. YHC concluded these PAX clearly had a case of the Mondays. The PAX completed all reps, returned the coupons, and moseyed back up to the gate.
Thang 3: Travel in interesting ways to the flag
Partner Catch Me if You Can back to Homer’s Donut, this time exchanging the merkins for 5 alpha-count mountain climbers
Indian run to Hurricanes-turned-Bakery
Lunge walk in this small section of parking lot
All-You-Got sprint back to the flag
Mary: LBC’s and Dying Cockroach
The PAX anointed our FNG the name of “Breach” owing to his employment by Equifax, otherwise known as the Chinese communist party’s preferred US credit bureau.
Prayers for the health of family and friends including YHC’s M as they struggle through an eclectic mixed tape of strep/flu/pinkeye.
Passive aggressive prayers for our fellow Hooch PAX who did not post, that their fartsack would be warm and cozy.
YHC is blessed with nearly five years’ experience in F3. Having stockpiled the memory of hundreds of beatdowns, dozens of which YHC Q’ed myself, Q-ing on short notice has become a fun challenge rather than an intimidating stressor. The mumblechatter of the PAX was music to YHC’s ears, which means the beatdown was hard enough to make it worth the early rise. Welcome to our new FNG, who is a fellow Medlock Bridge neighborhood resident; Flo and I hope he’ll stick with us to grow representation among the Hooch crowd from our own backyard.