Choose Your Own Adventure!

AO: Rubicon

When: 03/30/2023

QIC: Irene

PAX (12): Avis, Boss Baby, Devito, False Start, FannyPack, Lefty, lumbergh, No-See-Um, Pinkey, Red Ryder, Special K


Lumbergh put out a Call to Arms for more Qs at Rubicon, so I grabbed a spot and used it as an excuse to do a Q I’ve long been wanting to figure out. In honor of the release of the Dungeons and Dragons movie tonight at Midnight, we are going on a dungeon crawl through Wills Park – F3 Style.



As you may guess from the maps and descriptions below, I stayed up too late preparing for the Q and then made it worse by underestimating how long it would take me to put out all of the cones!

YHC missed the warm-up, but the experienced Pax of Rubicon provided the necessary introduction, disclaimer, mosey, SSH, and other necessary exercises.

I also lost two rooms as I was running around, but only YHCs group went to those locations, so I dutifully provided the exercises I could remember. Finally, I didn’t provide the answers to the riddles either. I’m sure the PAX answered them all successfully without needing the answers.

All of my failings aside, a good time was had by all. Here are the rules for the Q:

  • Each location on the map represents a “room.”
  • Each room has a card describing what you encounter.
  • Read the card and perform the listed exercise(s).
  • Then roll your d20. You are attempting to “beat” the listed number (Meets it, Beats it). This is the “DC” or Difficulty Check.
  • If you succeed, continue to a connecting room.
  • If you fail, perform the listed failure exercise before continuing to a connecting room.
  • Reach the “Treasure Room,” obtain your prize, and make your way out before 6:15.

The Thang:

The Pax selected captains (those HCing that they’d bring headlamps) and split into three teams. YHC provided a map and a large d20 (20 sided dice) to each team and quickly went over the rules before the Pax dispersed into the dungeon. Without prompting from the Q, each team went in a different direction so I believe all of the rooms were visited at least once by a group. Below are the rooms Pax encountered:

  1. Exercise: Perform AMRAP Side Straddle Hop while deciding the answer.
    Riddle: “Walk on the living and they don’t even grumble, but walk on the dead and they groan and grumble. What are they?”
    Failure: 15 Big Boys
    Connecting Rooms: 11 or 13 or 17
  2. Exercise: Perform AMRAP LBCs while deciding the answer.
    Riddle: “I have streets, but no pavement. I have cities, but no buildings.
    I have forests, yet no trees. I have rivers, yet no water. What am I?”
    Failure: 20 Sumo Squats
    Connecting Rooms: 7 or 10
  1. Exercise: Hold a High Plank while deciding the answer.
    Riddle: “What goes up the hill and down the hill, and in spite of all, yet standeth still?”
    Failure: 15 A. Lunges
    Connecting Rooms: 6 or 8 or 14 or 15
  1. Iconic Room: Terraced Aquarium; White Plume Mountain
    “You are looking out and down into an enormous chamber defined by terraced steps that ring the entire area and descend toward a central enclosure. A few feet south of the door, water laps at the edge of the stone floor. Looking to the side, you can see that the ring of the terrace that lies beyond is a ten-foot-deep ring of water held in by a nearly transparent wall of glass. Another of these watery steps in the terrace is somewhat lower than the first; at the level in between these aquariums, the terrace steps are dry, but the area is still enclosed by a glassy wall like the others.”
    Pax must perform 2 laps around the flag pole: 1/2 a lap Bear Crawl and 1/2 a lap Crab Walk each lap
    DC 9, Failure: 20 Alpha Flutterkicks
    Connecting Rooms: 7 or 9 or 10 or 14
  1. Iconic Room: Geysers and Chains; White Plume Mountain
    “The door opens onto a stone platform in a large natural cave. Opposite the entrance in the distance is another stone platform. Between them, a series of wooden disks is suspended from the ceiling by massive steel chains. The cave floor seems to be covered by a pool of boiling mud. As you stand on the precipice contemplating the crossing, a geyser erupts from the pool below rocking the series of wooden disks.”
    Exercise: Burpee Broad Jumps from one line of cones to the other
    DC 11, Failure: 50 Single Count Mountain Climbers
    Connecting Rooms: 7 or 10 or 14 or 15
  1. Iconic Room: Steep Passage/Flood; Lost Mines of Phandelver, Cragmaw Cavern
    “The main passage from the cave mouth climbs steeply upward, the stream plunging and splashing down its west side. In the shadows, a side passage leads west across the other side of the stream.
    In the shadows of the ceiling to the north, you can just make out the dim shape of a rickety bridge of wood and rope crossing over the passage ahead of you. Another passage intersects this one, twenty feet above the floor.”
    Exercise: 20 Alpha Flutterkicks
    DC 9, Failure: 20 Alpha Flutterkicks
    Connecting Rooms: 3 or 7 or 13
  1. Iconic Room: Roof of Icespire Hold; Dragon of Icespire Peak
    “Before you extends the vast roof of the hold. A thick layer of  ice shimmers in the early morning light across the entire surface. A strong wind blows up and over the ramparts biting against your skin as you step out onto the slick surface.”
    Exercise: 20 Alpha Bonnie Blairs
    DC 11, Failure: 10 Burpees
    Connecting Rooms: 2 or 4
  1. Iconic Room: Barovian Tower Stairs; Curse of Strahd
    “You stand at the base of the largest tower knowing you must ascend these steps. As you raise your eyes upward, you see the stairs twisting along the outer edge of the crumbling tower. Quick! Make haste. Count Strahd will be coming…”
    Exercise: 20 A. Step-ups
    DC 9, Failure: 20 Derkins
    Connecting Rooms: 3 or 13
  1. Trap: Rolling Rock; Indiana Jones, Temple of Doom
    Exercise: Sprint, Up the hill to the flagpole circle and back down
    DC 13, Failure: 12 Diamond Merkins
    Connecting Rooms: 4 or 17
  1. Trap: As you enter the room, the doors lock and the ceiling begins to descend. Quick break down the doors!
    Exercise: Grab a Coupon for 25 Kettle Bell Swings;
    DC 9, Failure: 15 OH Press
    Connecting Rooms: 2 or 4 or 5
  1. Trap: As the door swings shut behind you, you hear a mechanical “click.” Brace yourself. It should reset… eventually.
    Exercise: 45 seconds of Balls to the Wall
    DC 9, Failure: 10 Diamond Merkins
    Connecting Rooms: 1 or 12
  1. Encounter: Rodents Of Unusual Size
    “You enter a dimly lit room and light a torch. Before you are the largest, ugliest rats you’ve ever seen.”
    Exercises: 20 J.Los, 20 Groiners, 20 Dollys, 20 Alpha Freddie Mercuries
    DC 11, Failure: 20 Alpha American Hammers
    Connecting Rooms: 11 or 16
  1. Encounter: Bandits
    “Combing thorugh a dungeon is hard engouh when you’re alone… It’s even worse when someone got here first.”
    Exercises: 10 Burpess, 10 Alpha Lunges, 10 Alpha Imperial Squat Walkers, 10 Merkins, 10 Pickle Pounders
    DC 11, Failure: 15 Squat Jumps
    Connecting Rooms: 1 or 6 or 8
  1. Encounter: Stone Golems
    “You enter a large room with all manner of statues, but before you can determine who is depicted in each one they come alive.”
    Exercises: Grab a Coupon for 25 Curls, 25 Skullcrushers, 25 American Hammers, 25 OH Press
    DC 13, Failure: 15 We’re Not Worthys
    Connecting Rooms: 3 or 4 or 5
  1. Best of Wills Park: Castle Encounter
    “You burst through the door and onto the battlements, before you are the guards who you have caught completely unaware.”
    Exercises: 10 Swerkins (Merkings with you feet in a swing), 10 Pullups, 10 Box Jumps
    DC 11, Failure: 10 Hanging Leg Lifts
    Connecting Rooms: 3 or 5 or 7
  1. Best of Wills Park: Rock Hopping (Wooden Rec Center Bridge)
    Exercise: Broad Jumps across the length of the bridge
    DC 11, Failure: 25 Monkey Humpers
    Connectng Rooms: 7 or 12
  1. Treasure Room:
    “You’ve made it to the depths of the dungeon. Your prize is finally in your grasp. All that is left is to make it back out.”
    You cannot return the way you came. Make it back to the Shovel Flag (complete room 5 or 7 or 15)
    Connecting Rooms: 1 or 9

The ultimate prize in the treasure room was an F3 Sticker and it was claimed by Team Lumbergh, but real treasure were the friends we made along the way! All three teams made it back to the Shovel Flag promptly at 6:15 were we ended in a Circle of Trust.


Apologies from the Q for the missed start and other hijinks, but the pax took it in stride and made the best of the beatdown. Pinkey was the (un-?)fortunate 6 today and shared his F3 story with the group about how he was EH’d by Millertime, how he received his name, and what keeps him coming out in the Gloom.

Naked-Man Moleskin:

Red Ryder is looking for another AO to sponsor an NLB breakfast sometime in the next 60 days or so, so put the word out to the other AOs you frequent and let’s find one to take charge. Red Ryder offered to help with some of the logistics and planning on it, so reach out to him for more details.

Halpha Day CSAUP is coming up on April 21, 2023 at Rubicon beginning at 8 pm. 12 Hours of Beatdowns. Come do one or all of time – or some number in between. All of the Q spots have been filled, but we are still looking for assistance with food and coffee Qs, and we’re definitely looking for some early HCs. Keep an eye on Slack for more details.

There was a TNT shared after CoT, but I only caught the end of it after running out to clean up. I believe it was about the importance of being intentional in all that you do, but hopefully someone can summarize if I got that wrong.

Prayers for two families that recently lost children so they may recover and continue on after such an unspeakable tragedy. Also, prayers for those in need who weren’t mentioned or didn’t speak up.

Thank you all for participating this morning and going along with my ridiculous theming. It was an honor to lead.

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