Farmer’s Mile – Eggnog Edition

AO: The Wreck

When: 12/13/2022

QIC: aflac

PAX (18): Bear, Blue, Catheter, Circus, custard, Donor, Foley, Grouch, Juul, Matt Shields-Norm, Meltdown, Raider, Sell-out, Sic’em, Squeegee, Switch, Rosie (FNG)


YHC was looking to add some holiday flair to a crowd-favorite beatdown and concocted a version that would add a gastrological challenge into the mix.  He also did his best to channel 1/10th of Raider’s creativity by arriving early for a festive setup that included coupons, gifts for the PAX, a lit tree, and a crap-ton of eggnog.  Surely, this would be no ordinary BD.


Mosey up the road backwards to the first speedbump, then alternating side-jacks for about 30yds each.  Continue mosey until reaching the large parking lot for proper disclaimers and the following warm-ups:

  • SSHs
  • Weed-Pickers
  • Hillbillys

The Thang:

Q directed all PAX to select a partner of opposite abilities (Clydesdales matched with Cheetahs) and fetch a coupon from Foley’s truck.  As the following instructions were given, audible moans were plentiful from the crowd:

  • Partners would collaborate to complete 4 laps around the perimeter (.31mi per lap) in counterclockwise direction.
  • Partner 1 would farmer-carry both coupons, while Partner 2 would run a lap+ until reaching Partner 1 again.
  • Upon passing the Christmas tree, Partner 2 would select a “gift” with written exercises on the back, to be performed together upon catching up to Partner 1.
  • All PAX must take a 3oz shot of eggnog upon passing the Christmas tree.

Yeah, you read that correctly – by my calculation, that would amount to each PAX consuming upwards of 15-18oz of eggnog over the course of nearly 3 miles.  Q figured the odds of someone projectile vomiting being reasonably decent, although no such events were actually witnessed.  This was noted for future reference.

With T-5 remaining on the clock, Q directed all PAX to return coupons to Foley’s truck, take a final shot of eggnog and sprint back to the flag.  Most PAX wisely mutinied on the shot/sprint concept.


  • Welcome FNG Rosie (Paul)!
  • Annual white elephant gift party.
  • Continue to think about the less fortunate in society, especially this time of year.

AFLAC out.

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