Deconstructed Burpee Suicides

AO: Gladiator

When: 12/13/2022

QIC: Brownie

PAX (16): Bo Knows, Cheneral, defcon2, DREAMER, Hitchcock, Irene, Macbeth, Mater, Moonshine, Spandex, Tar Heel, vertigo, Zohan, The Big Short, Fury?


I had a flashback to a prior BD many years ago when I first started coming to F3 led by Mufasa and decided it was time to dust it off and let others experience the “fun.” Everyone loves burpees anyway, so why not break them apart into their component parts.


After giving a brief disclaimer since there were no new folks there, I announced the name of the workout eliciting a large number of groans. The QIC chose to ignore that noise and we started our mosey around the parking lot on the way to the pitch.

We paused just outside the pitch for some SSH, windmills, and Elf’s escalator (aka world’s greatest stretch).

The Thang:

Once we got to the pitch, we spread out on the endline and instructions for the BD.

Round 1:  Sumo squats beginning with 1 at the end line, 5 at the top of the goal box, 10 at the red line, 15 at midfield, 20 at the opposite red line, 25 at the opposite goal box, and 30 at the opposite end line. Mosey out to each line, Bernie Sanders from each line back to the end line each time.

Snow angel cannonballs for the 6.

Round 2:  Tandem Mtn climbers (both legs together) out and back each time with the same rep counts and the same stops. Regular mosey out and back.

LBCs for the 6.

Round 3:  Merkins…ditto as above. Mosey out and back until the midfield line on the final round where each member of the PAX crabwalked that half of the field.

Flutter kicks for the 6.

Round 4:  Squat jumps (don’t forget your clap at the top!)…same stops and rep counts. Mosey out and back.

Gazelles circle back for the 6.

Final round:  Put ALL of that back together for 10 burpees together on the end line. Time running short so back to the flag for a brief round of dying cockroaches.


Vertigo with some praises for his support system, but some prayer requests for one of his youth wrestlers and their family.

Zohan’s son on his recent debate success.

Brownie’s friend’s 10 yr old daughter facing open heart surgery and a possible transplant.

All those unspoken prayers from the circle.



Naked-Man Moleskin:

Appreciate the opportunity to lead my last Q of 2022. Appreciate each man pushing themselves to get better with each workout.

I challenge each man to look for opportunities to lead and step up a bit more in 2023. It’s time for some who rarely Q to contribute more. Set your goal and make it happen!

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