AO: Boneyard

When: 10/29/2022

QIC: Speedo

PAX (72): Ace Ventura, Animal, Boomer, Cookie, Dinghy, DREAMER, FannyPack, Feathers, Funyun, Groundhog, HotSauce, Irene, Jiminy, Knight Rider, Lil Hurt, lumbergh, Macbeth, Mater, Maytag, McCracken, Meatball, MillerTime, Morphine, Nacho Libre, No-See-Um, NRA, Pinkey, RaspberryPi, Reggie, Scar, Seaman, Sirmixalot, Snowman, Sox, Spandex, Special K, Spit Valve, Stroller, Stu, Sunshine, Surely, Swiper, Tenderfoot, Tigger, toadstool, Todd Doherty l F3 UMass, Townie, Trebek, TURK, uga, Valley Girl, Walkie Talkie, Zohan, Morphine, Feathers, StayPuff (NLB), SandFlea (NLB), Biebs (NLB), Singlet (NLB), Funnel Cake (NLB), Fanatic (NLB), Beaver (FNG/NLB), Slash (2.0), Chowder, Brownie, Barbara, Training Wheels (NLB)


What a great morning to get everyone together at an AO that hasn’t hosted a convergence before. Little known fact: The Boneyard was one of the original AO’s in the Alpha region, but because it is built on an ancient Native American burial ground (meh, that’s not true – we just got kicked out), it remained abandoned for years and then was revived. Whether haunted or just simply abandoned, it’s the perfect place for a haunted Halloween-themed beatdown.

So – gathering all PAX to the parking lot by the lacrosse field, and taking stock of the variety of  costumes worn (No-See-‘Um, that was scary; Flo, that was hilarious; Tenderfoot, that was dead sexy), F3 5-key principles and disclaimer were given and off we went.

NOTE: We did have 10 for pre-ruck with No-See-‘Um and 10 for pre-run with Scar (thanks for leading, men)


Fanny-Pack led the group on the following exercises to get those creaky joints moving:

Hillbillies, SSH’s, World’s greatest stretch, Michael Phelps, Squats

Following Warm-O-Rama, groups counted off by 4’s and split off to their haunted destinations for a beatdown….

The Thang:

Station #1: Professor Zohan’s Killer Kibbutz (i.e., the pavilion)

50 Dips, run to the small take a book/leave a book library and back. 40 Derkins, run. 30 Big Boys, Run. 20 Box Jumps, Run. A few gazelles made it to 10 Heels to Heaven before the air horn called to switch. First group had more runs than this so they hardly got to the Box Jumps, so station Q  modified to the above.

Station #2: Dr. Morphine’s Ultimate Pain Station  (i.e., field across from the memorial park)

13 Absolutions. Mosey to Wall That Heals. There are 13 flags planted around the wall and so  saluted those flags with 13 burpees, 13 Bulgarian split squats each leg, 13 alpha count shoulder taps. Mosey back to field for 13 more Absolutions or until rescued by the Great Air Horn in the Sky.

Station #3:  Old Man Feathers’ Clocktower of Horror (i.e., the traffic circle)

4 cardinal clock points marked on large traffic circle – III, VI, IX, and XII.  Each point also includes and exercise. Pax split into four equal-ish groups, and pick a starting point. Start by bear-crawling, in a clock-wise direction, to the next cardinal point. Upon arrival, perform the prescribed exercise set. Once complete, rewind the clock by running in a counterclockwise direction 1 full sweep of the clock (back to where your just performed the exercise), then drop and bear-crawl clockwise to the next station. Rinse and Repeat until the horn sounds, with the goal of a minimum of 1 full sweep of the clock.

III – 25 Big Boys
VI – 20 Jump Squats
IX – 20 Crab Cakes (Alpha count)
XII – 20 Merkins

Station #4: Mad Mater’s Mortuary (i.e., parking lot by the lacrosse field)
Buster Douglas – consists of 2 Mike Tyson, 4 Monkey Humper, 6 Bonney Blair, 8 Air Punches
Multiply the count by the set #…
1st set – 2 4 6 8
2nd set – 4 8 12 16
3rd set – 6 12 18 24
4th set – 8 16 24 32
5th and final set – 10 20 30 40
If finished early, perform another set or plank for the 6th/air horn

Once final horn was blown, all returned to the lacrosse field parking lot.


For COT, we had the initial pleasure of Zohan’s discussion on the F3 Foundation – an opportunity for all of us to help grow F3 and more importantly, grow individual HIMs who then help strengthen their families and communities.

We then transitioned to the main event: Miller Time’s introduction of the partnership that we in F3 Alpha have with No Longer Bound, and a testimony to the impact of our brotherhood from Bullet. It was an extraordinarily powerful witness talk, touching on accountability, fortitude, perseverance, and the healing redemption. We salute Bullet’s courage to stand front and center, to be fully transparent (warts and all), and to be an example of what happens when you meet folks where they AND leave no man behind.

Naked-Man Moleskin:

To put an event on such as this, it takes quite a bit of planning, logistics, and execution.

Special thanks to:

Our Nantan, @Speedo, for superb coordination

Station leads (@Morphine@Mater@Feathers, and @Zohan),

Guides (@Scar – also did pre run, Brownie, @Trebek, and @Stroller)

Body-warmer (@FannyPack)

Preruck guides (@No-See-Um and @Sirmixalot)

Photographers (@Valley Girl and @HotSauce)

Coffee grinders (@Macbeth)

Chicken getter (Mrs Speedo)

COT Speakers (Zohan, @MillerTime and BULLET).

Lastly – well done to all participating pax. Thanks again for a wonderful event, you magnificent HIMs!

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