Cr***fit @ the Gladiator

AO: Gladiator

When: 08/25/2022

QIC: vertigo

PAX (11): Bo Knows, defcon2, DREAMER, Macbeth, Scratch-Off, Snowbird, Spandex, TheBigShort, vertigo, Zohan, Brownie


In recent years, the Gladiator has gradually gotten more mosey-focused. That’s not a bad thing at all, but we’re supposed to be well-rounded. Specifically, the end of summer marks the end of cutting season. The kids are back at school, we aren’t spending time at the beach or the pool, so it’s time to start bulking. We’re leaving the LGN plan and heading towards winter’s LG in a T-Shirt Plan.

And so today, our fearless leader, Vertigo, took us on a trip to Swole Pavilion, just west of Muscle Beach to pick stuff up and put it back down again. It was awesome.

Disclaimer: Vertigo isn’t responsible for any people or organizations referenced in the satire of this BB.


Mosey to the overhang for the worlds shortest warmup. I think it was 90 seconds long, and 60 of those seconds were taken up by AARP Weedpickers.

The Thang:

Mosey to the aforementioned Swole Pavilion whereupon we did see an assortment of equipment. Kettlebells, PVC Pipe, barbells, and bumper plates. It’s a shame that the Pavilion doesn’t have walls so we could call it a box. But it doesn’t have walls. Or rings hanging from the ceiling. Or someone taking $3k per year from you. Just a roof, picnic tables, and stuff to pick up.

We continued with a pre-Thang that was literally just picking everything up. Not even kidding. We picked everything up. I believe they call it a Deadlift.

Then, we split up into groups based on the weight we could responsibly pick up without slipping a disk.

The Thang was to go through rounds of 2 superset exercises, matching reps with the PAX in your group. For example, the first round was Deadlifts & Mercans. One PAX would do 1 Deadlift while the rest in his group would do 1 Mercan, then the next PAX would do 1 Deadlift while the rest his group would do 1 Mercan. Rotate through until everyone had completed 1 Deadlift. Then, rinse & repeat with 2 Deadlifts and 2 Mercans all the way up to 7 & 7.

Round 1: Deadlifts & Mercans

Round 2 (drop the outer plates): Hang Cleans & Air Squats (that’s Squats for the exicon sticklers out there…but since we had a bar, we need to clarify).

Round 3 (drop all plates) : Thrusters & …honestly, I can’t remember what we superset thrusters with…you get what you pay for with ghost writers, I guess. I was probably making super-hilarious jokes just trying to get a laugh from The Big Short. Or maybe I was listening Connie renaming Spandie, and Zoey, and Dreamy. Either way, I’m sure it was something hard.

Then we ran back to the flag and sat in silent contemplation until 6am.


Dearth Visor CSAUP this Saturday, check slack for more.

Naked-Man Moleskin:

I’m sure that Vertigo is super grateful for this group of guys to work out with.

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