5th Annual Crabtree

AO: The Wreck

When: 07/04/2022

QIC: aflac

PAX (16): Backside, DIGIT, Donor, Doogie, goat, Goose, Hammy, Meltdown, Squeegee, Swamp Donkey, The Real Woody, Virginia Slim, Yankee, Roscoe, MIP


Can’t believe it’s been 5 years since the inaugural edition (BB here).  The 2022 version lived up to every expectation, and then some with a convergence of sorts with our Roz brothers in pain from Badapple and AO’s beyond.  The Q trifecta arrived at 0650 to greet PAX, with some admonishment directed towards AFLAC for pulling the trigger at 0659.


AFLAC started things off by leading PAX up the main road, stopping at the first parking lot for disclaimers and the following warm-ups:

  • SSHs
  • Weed Pickers
  • Hillbillys

The Thang:

For Phase I of the main event, AFLAC led PAX towards the playground and directed them to perform 5 rounds of the following (or until Squeegee called time):

  • Run from playground up stairs to top of hill, perform 5 Burpees.
  • Run loop around sidewalk back to playground.
  • Perform 10 Pull-Ups, 20 Merkins, 30 Squats.
  • Rinse/repeat.

Good work by all, with Woody getting a bit savage with Goat over his Merkin form.  Squeegee called time to start Phase II after about 20 minutes, and directed PAX to mosey through downtown Roswell toward the baseball field at Waller Park.  Arriving PAX were very thankful to be greeted by a cooler full of replenishment.

With all PAX in attendance, Squeegee led PAX on a tough round of Captain Thor.  Instructions were simple:

  • Perform four 2-count American Hammers.
  • Perform 1 Big-Boy sit-up.
  • Increase reps by 4 & 1 respectively until reaching 45 & 10 (Squeegee math).

For Phase III, Virginia Slim led PAX  on a route towards his compound on Coleman Rd.  PAX were greeted with a stack of cinders and themed instructions for a grand total of 246 repetitions across various exercises.  Some sally cinders were employed by PAX who shall remain nameless.

With all PAX in tow, time for a final push up North Coleman back to The Wreck.  Along the route, PAX were greeted by a sleepy copperhead halfway up the hill and appropriate warnings were given.  Early finishers circled back for the six, with all PAX finally making it down the home stretch.  Fresh donuts and a cooler full of cold race beer greeted the PAX upon their return.

Special thanks to Donor & Meltdown for their contributions.  Congrats to The Burn for completing his first 10k.  Great chatter and participation by all involved.


  • Praise to The Burn on securing funding for his new venture.
  • Prayers to Grease Monkey and Windex on the recent loss of their fathers.

Naked-Man Moleskin:

On this day, we are reminded that there is MUCH more that binds us together than divides us as a people.  Never forget that.  Society tends to amplify the divisive voices and suppress the uniters.  F3 is a constant reminder that the things that we rally around and do together are what makes our country great.

AFLAC, Squeegee, Virginia Slim OUT!

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