Tainted Merkins

AO: Widowmaker

When: 02/26/2022

QIC: Cox

PAX (12): defcon2, Dipstick, F3_Operation, Funyun, HighChair, Morphine, NRA, Skip-pe, Zohan, Wheels, Slash


Generated some questions in the lead up for the workout with names like the “Tainted Merkin”, “Burp-Rida”, and the “Rock-Arena”.  Worked with my 2.0 Wheels on some new twists on old favorites to see what we could do to make for a fun and exciting beatdown on the Widowmaker. Weather forecast looked good so I charged up the Bluetooth speaker and channeled my inner Richard Simmons for a thrilling ride down memory lane…


Slow Mosey from the flag to the Upper Parking Lot for some practice counting (better than expected) and to see if my voice had successfully reached puberty (it has not…). Wienke in hand and off we went!

◦ Weed picker
◦ Hillbilly
◦ Toy Solider
◦ Arm Circles
◦ Left leg over right
◦ Right leg over left
◦ Overhead clap
◦ Motivator to 5

Mosey forward, then in reverse, then high knees in reverse (not recommended) and finally to the top of the Widowmaker for some instructions. Questions about “what’s in the backpack” started but were unanswered…

Grab a Coupon on the way down and get ready for what’s in the backpack

The Thang:

What’s in the backpack?  A tiny Bluetooth speaker and a piece of paper to remind YHC what we were going to do.  A mix of group and partner work based on some fun tunes.  Songs were matched with the workouts and YHC had added the songs to the playlist but did not know the order. Some mystery for all including the Q!  Times were add and are included here to show how the workout was timed.

Q The Music On Shuffle – music chooses the exercise. it went something like this

✓ Tainted Merkins – tainted love plank and Merkin on the bump-bump 2:31 (Group)
✓ Carolina Dry Dock / run greatest American hero theme 3:14
✓ Rock-arena – Macarena w a coupon 4:08 – Did not go as planned but was pretty funny (Group)
✓ Curls / run (girls girls girls) 4:30
✓ Skull Crusher / run (I wanna rock) 3:03
✓ Breakdance Merkin / run ( it’s tricky) 3:04
✓ Squat / run (get down on it) 4:49 (Added a new term to the Lexicon – the “Pickle Popper” – that think you do at the top of a squat when holding a coupon and really feeling it…)
✓ Cusak (Rifle Carry) A-Team theme 3:16
✓ Burp-Rida – Low flo rida – Apolo Ohnos (ice skaters w back leg crossed) and Burpee on “Low” – 3:46 (Group)

You can’t unsee what was seen. And as an added bonus there was some sort of an Amway / Mountain Bike / Jeep / Run by the knuckleheads convention the last 5 minutes at the bottom of the Widowmaker to make us feel extra special! The more the merrier!



Prayers for those in need including Operation’s friends and Funyun’s Co-workers and some sharing of my family’s history in Ukraine.  My Grandfather was born in Dnipropetrovsk, Russia in 1918 (which is now Ukraine) and escaped the Russian Revolution in 1920. DC2 shared at breakfast that his grandfather had escaped Stalingrad as well.  Prayers for our brothers and sisters in Ukraine and in harms way.  F3 gives us the opportunity to lead and become better leaders. We look at what is happening and our hearts our heavy and we prayed for the citizens of a free country being attacked by another nation. With all that we have here in American and around the world we can see what evil looks like in real-time.  My 2.0 Wheels was with us and I thanked the lord for having an opportunity to see what it looks like when men work hard and lead.  Thank you to all who participated, laughed, shared and overall put their best effort into making themselves and those around them better human beings.

Naked-Man Moleskin:

Logging into the back blast site to see the Ukraine colors on the Alpha Logo is a reminder that this group is the real deal and we can see every time we show up that we are moving the world forward in the right direction.  I can’t help but think about the Russian soldiers being forced to attack their neighbors…I’m not an expert on all of this but I assume these are kids and young men who have no choice. The president of Ukraine is 44, so am I. I cannot imagine making these decisions and leading a country at my age. In one of the podcasts for F3 they spoke about the average age for F3 participants is 43. Check out this link for the full episode  (https://www.artofmanliness.com/health-fitness/fitness/podcast-324-fitness-fellowship-faith-cure-sad-clown-syndrome/)

It is an honor to drive the shovel flag into the ground and stand under the flag of a free country.

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