It’s Just a Number…a large number.

AO: Gladiator

When: 02/10/2022

QIC: Speedo

PAX (15): Bo Knows, Cheneral, defcon2, DREAMER, Fire Drill, Ironhead, Laces, Moonshine, Scratch-Off, Spandex, Speedo, Stroller, Tebow, vertigo, Brownie


I learned my lesson last year during my birthday week…don’t try to keep up with Zohan and Q five times in one week.  I only signed up to Q two beat downs this year during my birthday week with the first one at my home AO.  While my chronological age keeps increasing, I truly don’t feel my age, and thank all of you HIMs for that.

The parking lot was full of cars when I rolled in a couple of minutes after 5:00.  A lonely Scratch-off was running on the main road and then I saw some headlamps bobbing at the other end of the park so I figured they had banished him again for excessive flatulence or hot air or something.

Stroller had dropped some fun toys for us to use during the beat down so I took those to the main field and then came back for some stretching.  As 5:15 neared a short disclaimer was given and we were off.


Mosey around the rec center back to the top part of the flag parking lot for:

  • SSH x10
  • Weed pickers x10
  • IW x10
  • A new stretch called the manatee.  Check out the link on the Exicon.  This one felt gooood.


The Thang:

Mosey to the middle pavilion for something YHC renamed Ad Nauseum.  The Exicon calls it Mega Man but I wanted to change it up.  It’s like a deconstructed burpee x4.  Mucho mumblechatter on this one as we did it to the song Jump by Van Halen.

Next was a simple sit-up routine.  Sit-up, touch the ground to your left, sit-up, touch the ground between your feet, sit-up, touch the ground to your right, repeat.  Done to My Sharona by The Knack.  YHC cut it off early to make sure we had enough time for the other fun.

Mosey to the left pitch and grab some wall.  To the tune of Jump in the Line by Harry Belafonte, box jump or step up to the wall until the song ends.

Next, we partnered up for partner merkins.  P1 planks while P2 puts feet on the back of P1 and performs 10 derkins.  P1 then performs 10 merkins with P2’s feet on his back.  Then flapjack.  This was WAY harder on the P1 IMO but elicited a lot of comments that YHC couldn’t hear due to the Fun Fun Fun by the Beach Boys playing nearby.

Mosey over to the other pitch where the PAX were instructed to get on their six and make a circle with their heads facing the inside of the circle.  YHC handed someone a 40 lb. sandbag and instructed the PAX to hand it to the guy on your left.  After that sandbag got moving YHC provided another sandbag, this one was 60 lbs., and got it moving as well.  PAX were instructed to flutter kick while waiting for the bags to come around.  This was switched to Freddie Mercuries part-way through the song (Strobe Light by the B-52’s).  Only one bag was dropped on a face but all teeth were intact at the end from what we could tell.

Next, YHC instructed the PAX to do some Mountain Goats to the song Favorite Liar by The Wrecks.  A Mountain Goat is a 4-count mountain climber but the 4th count is a two-legged kick up and out as high as you can.  These are not for the faint of heart or faint of shoulders and really start to suck after a minute or so.

YHC called time and we moseyed to the coupon pile by the hill.  PAX were instructed to pick a curlable rock.  To the tune We Want a Rock by They Might be Giants, we did 20 curls, 20 OH press, and 20 skull crushers, repeat until the song is over.  DC2 gently reminded me after the beat down that a curlable rock can be heavier than a skull-crushable rock.  Lesson learned.

We then moseyed back to the flag. YHC introduced the Wipe Merkin and PAX were instructed to do 10 OYO.  We then did 10 diamond merkins since the Wipes wiped us all out.  Pickle pointers were on the menu next (x15 IC) with no eye contact among the PAX.  We closed out with 15 IC pickle pounders.  Grown men still giggle when these exercises are done.


Moonshine told us about a half marathon where participants either push or are pushed in wheelchairs.  He said he’d post info on Slack.  Prayers for Scratch-off and his M as they are set to welcome baby #2 any day now.  Praises for all who completed one or more of the challenges over the last few weeks.  Prayers for wisdom and patience as we go through this day.

Naked-Man Moleskin:

With my birthday tomorrow, I was reflecting back on the last year and realized how fast time goes by but not necessarily in a bad way.  The F3 community has been a true blessing to me.  I felt like I was doing fine before I started F3 but didn’t realize how much I was missing in terms of male community and friendship.  To work out with neighbors, friends, guys my age, guys half my age, etc. is just hard to replicate outside of a group like F3.  Thanks to each of you for being a part of my life and for pushing me to be stronger (physically, mentally, as a friend, etc.) than I could ever be on my own.

–Speedo out

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