Festivus for the Rubes of us

AO: Rubicon

When: 12/23/2021

QIC: lumbergh

PAX (11): Caffey, Devito, DIY, False Start, Hollywood, No-See-Um, PitStop, Special K, Stroller, Stu


So many Christmas themed beatdowns. Lets not forget Festivus.

Plus a chance to double up with Norseman at a later start.

It’s going to be a fun morning


After the normal disclaimer I made sure to add the words and things I say are all in good fun and admiration.

A little lap around the parking lot and circle up around the Festivus pole for SSH, IW, WP, and circles and Covids.


The Thang:

The Festivus pole must travel with us. Rotating pax will carry the pole with a cinder attached to each of our locations.

the airing of grievances 

In which I complain about the workouts of 2021 and why I hate them….

First stop was to talk about the idea of doing 100 burpees in a row. And so we kicked off with 100 burpees. After 20 or so I got tired of that and we cut it to go off to the playground.

Another thing I have issue with is pullups. I’m bad at them and it makes me dislike this playground. And so we do a mini Murphy. 4 rounds of 5 pullups, 10 mercans, and 15 squats.

YHC: “After Round 5 go do BTTW”

Pax: “you said 4 rounds!?”

YHC: “I did? …..well now it’s 5!”

Off to the FOD.

So why do we allow a whole other region to tell us what workouts to do? And just for a t-shirt? Well here is just a small taste of IronPAX.. Bear Crawl across outfield for 88 XFactors then Crawl Bear back across the sparkly frozen turf.

Down to Home Plate dragging the pole along. Oh you are doing the 100 Mercan challenge? Well Thanks to Script Kiddie regular Mercans don’t count so forget all those you did earlier. We have to do a Mucho Chesto for them to count. 10 variations at each base.

Up to the parking lot. So here I am five years into F3 and feeling good and coasting along….then some guys say..Hey let’s make a tougher workout that doesn’t even have a warmup…so the Rubicon HI, eventually Academy, was born. And they do this awful kickoff with the MAYHEM workout. We stick to the most memorable parts of Hand Release Mercans, Yurpees, E2K, and Air Squats. Lunge walk to each island…not suicide style today.

Feats of Strength

over to the rockpile. Instructed to pick a rock that would make Devito blush. Caffey finds a rock slightly smaller than everyone else’s combined. He changes his mind after instructions.

AMRAP until failure of the following with 20 minimum.

Curls, Shoulder Press, Skull Crushers, and Upright Row. Move around a few rocks each time.

Final grievance is about my awful foot issues and Everytime I try to run it hurts for two weeks. And so pax sprint to the flag for a little Mary



As I said in COT I chose these because they are so memorable and the most challenging things we did this year. It’s been an incredible year of growth and fun for Rubicon.

A quick closeout so the following six can take off for Norseman while a few hang out for coffee.

Great work Pitstop, Devito, Stroller, Stu, Caffey and YHC for being the majority numbers at both workouts.

Naked-Man Moleskin:

Always a pleasure to lead.

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