The Cidery House Rules

AO: Starting Line

When: 12/22/2021

QIC: Dunshire

PAX (5): Ace Ventura, Dunshire, Script Kiddie, Sirmixalot, who


The mist and cold air gathered but a few feet above the ground in the early hours of the mourn in the Village of Dawson.  The faint lights of the horseless carriages appeared in the distance and slowly grew as the party assembled near the field of the Park of Main.  The adventurers had arrived and were ready to quest after a brief greeting of the minds.


The party assembled at the local tavern and warmed up with a few drinking games, which did include:

15 Side Straddle Hops

15 Weed Pickers

15 Imperial Walkers

15 Merkins

Sun Gods OYO

Michael Phelps OYO


The Thang:

After a few drinks at the local tavern our heroes met a strange old man who spoke of a tale of a cidery in the mountains that was overrun by a Goblin King and Queen.  His tale of woe struck a cord within the adventurers hearts thus they set forth on a perilous quest to disperse the goblin horde and reclaim the estate for the old man.

The first obstacle was to climb the mountain (20 mtn. climbers)

The second task was to crawl through a cave at the top of the mountain (70+ WWII situps)

The third task was to hide from a Goblin scouting party by imitating the moving boulders (69ish Carolina Dry Docks.)

After coming to the entrance to the Cidery the party scared off the Goblin guards by conducting the dance of taunting (20ish Hillbillies).

This was a trap, however, so the heroes had to dodge a volley of arrows (50 Squats)

Once the goblins ran out of arrows the party attacked the horde (50+ Merkins)

The party then negotiated with the Goblin King (30+ Monkey Humpers)

The party then had to negotiate with the Goblin Queen (20ish more Monkey Humpers)

The Goblin Monarchy agreed to hand over the deed to the Cidery as well as several barrels of cider.  So the heroes bravely went back to town with their heavy load (50ish WWII situps)

It turned out that the old man was actually a Goblin in disguise, so the party entered combat with the “old man” (yeah I actually forgot what we did here…then the party like went home and was ambushed by some bandits, but I forgot that exercise too.  Anyways they made it home and lived happily ever after…and by after I mean after a round of merry, which I can’r recall either.  It was pretty good though.


Ace shared a personal prayer request for he and his M.  Script Kiddie reminded us about how we react to circumstances defines our character.

Naked-Man Moleskin:

The Goblins were vanquished and our heroes won the day.  All was well in the Village of Dawson as the sun slowly crept over the horizon shining not just a beautiful sunset, but a ray of hope for the day to come!

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