Dallas Sucks

AO: Norseman

When: 09/28/2021


PAX (9): CATFISH, Ha-ha, Honey Glazed, Jethro, Nacho Libre, Pumba, Shooter, TO, ___ Lott (FNG, now "Ivy League"


YHC had a bad run of Fart-Sacking lately.  Site Q Dr Rico put out a call on Monday afternoon to the Norseman Pax looking for a volunteer to Q.  YHC knew that commitment was one way he’d have to put his feet on the floor at 0445 and get his butt to F3.  So YHC did nothing. Checked Slack a few minutes later, hoping another Pax would pick it up.  Nope.  OK, WTH, YHC grabbed it  With the caveat that the pain delivered would be proportional to the outcome of his beloved Eagles Monday Night game against the hated Dallas Cowboys.  If you are not from Philly then your children’s first words were not “Dallas Sucks” as every other kids are from that region since the late 1970s.  It’s just good parenting.

YHC went to bed in the second quarter Monday night, in a very bad mood.  Woke up in a worse mood.  The Beatdown would hopefully cure that.  And it did, at least for YHC.


The Pax welcomed the FNG, cited the requisite disclaimers, waited for Nacho to make his costume change and moseyed to the main football field.  A lap around the field and circled up. SSH, Hill Billies, Covids, Arm Circles and modified Weed Pickers.  These Weed Pickers required Pax to return to a full up right position and lean back a few degrees – all in the name of good spinal health.

The Thang:

The Pax paired up on one goal line and assumed the Wheel Barrow position with each other.  One Pax would hold his partner’s legs/feet up about belly button height to put some tension on the biceps and forearms.  Wheel barrow to the 10 yard line and all pax did 10 Merkins. Switch positions and wheel barrow to the 20 and 10 Squats.  Repeat until the 50 Yard Line and do 10 Burpees.  All the way to the far goal line, alternating each 10 yards, finishing with 10 Merkins at the goal line.  Plank for the Six.

Return trip to opposite goal line.  Same format but Bear Crawl.  Stop at the 10 Yard line and do 10 Star Jumps, 10 Merkins at the 20, and alternate every 10 yards til you break the plane of the opposite goal line.

Next up was supposed to again be the same format but Crab Walk.  A reflection of the disgust YHC felt while watching his beloved Birds.  But the therapy of the beatdown was doing its thing and an audible was called (something Jalen Hurts should have done more of Monday night given his head coach’s inept play calling).  Moseyed to the pavilion for Step Ups, Decline Push-Ups, Balls to the Wall (Nacho’s title was claimed by Shooter), and more Step Ups.

Back to the football field for some Mary Plus (it was closer to 10 minutes than the regular 7).


We welcomed our FNG who was a Callahan recruit.  Somehow Callahan wasn’t there to choose a name so we chose for him.  Mr. Lott (sorry, I did not catch the first name, not that we’ll need it ever again) is an Auburn grad, but played a year of football for Yale and is in the construction business.  Ivy League seemed like the way to go for his handle.  Prayers for one of our Pax who is now home from the hospital recovering from Covid.

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