Eurovision, the Gladiator Saga

AO: The Gladiator

When: 08/05/2021

QIC: Zohan

PAX (18): Vertigo, Laces, Shiner, Iron Head, Postal, Wicca Wicca, Fire Drill, Scratch-Off, Spandex, Brownie, Speedo, Dreamer, Cheneral, DC2, Delicious, Snow Bird, Bo Knows, Zohan


A few weeks ago, in my previous Gladiator Q, somehow the discussion touched on the Eurovision song contest, which is mostly unfamiliar in the USA. YHC took it as a challenge to bring the Eurovision to the Gladiator, and chose 4y F3 anniversary as the right date for that.

With over 60 years of history, it took some time to select just a few songs that would represent the wide variety of genres and languages and still fit within a 45 min workout. Also, a day or two before Speedo reminded me that Shiner has a birthday the day after, so YHC modified quickly and added a Birthday song that appeared in the Eurovision 2 decades ago.

The Board of pain was set.

As the men gathered around the flag I was told about the ‘few’ merkins they had 2 days ago. YHC honestly couldn’t say how many merkins will be in store for us today.


To the sounds of Will Ferrell’s Volcano Man  the disclaimer was called, referring to YHC as the host of the Eurovision. Various countries already voted for the best “songs” (exercises) and we needed to mosey to hear how they voted.

Mosey around the parking lot, giving another moment for a couple late comers which may struggle next week as we move back to 5:15am, pre-covid hours.

Moseyed along the road and took a left turn, running backwards uphill on a path leading us to the center of the baseball fields.

Circle up for some SSH, Weed Pickers and Hillbillies.

The Thang:

The Board of Pain had a list of exercises, without numbers. These represented the songs.

Each round a PAX would pick up a note that contains the name of a country and how it voted on the songs. In the real Eurovision each country ranks 11 of the songs, giving them 1-10 and 12 points. For our purposes each country ranked 5 exercises, giving 2, 4, 6, 8 and 10 points.

(assuming I recalled correctly the order…)

The first country was Iceland, who ranked: Makhtars – 2 Points, Step Ups (singles) – 4 Points, Squats – 6 Points, LBCs – 8 Points and Freddie Mercury (alpha count) – 10 Points.

The PAX did those exercises and run a short distance and back when done. Plank for the 6.

Second was Italy with Dirty Handshakes – 2 Points, Step Ups – 4 Points, Squats – 6 Points, LBCs – 8 Points and Flutter Kicks – 10 Points.

The counts are commutative, which means 8 Step Ups, 12 Squats, 16 LBCs, and all the rest… Then run. Vertigo challenged us with Balls to the Wall for the 6.

Third round was Germany, with Dirty Handshakes – 2 Points, Derkins – 4 Points, Flutter Kicks – 6 Points, Merkins – 8 Points and Shoulder Taps – 10 Points. Things got tougher as reps accumulated and the music was…strange, on occasion. YHC liked the mumble chatter and tried to throw some trivia tidbits here and there.

We continued with Russia was finally gave us some Burpees, voting Burpees – 2 Points, Shoulder Taps – 4 Points, Calf Raises – 6 Points, Freddie Mercury – 8 Points and Gas Pumpers – 10 Points.

Next came England, Albania, and France.

Below are the final results for the votes, and in () the total reps done.

  • Gas Pumpers – 28 Points (74)
  • LBCs – 26 Points (124)
  • Flutter Kicks – 24 Points (98)
  • Shoulder Taps – 20 Points (78)
  • Squats – 20 Points (94)
  • Freddie Mercury – 18 Points (102)
  • Derkins – 18 Points (58)
  • Dirty Handshakes – 14 Points (38)
  • Step Ups – 14 Points (70)
  • Merkins – 8 Points (40)
  • Makhtars – 8 Points (28)
  • Burpees – 6 Points (12)
  • Calf Raises – 6 Points (24)
  • Dips – 0 Points (0)
  • Wolverins – 0 Points (0)

With the last song on the playlist done, it was time for a commercial break back at the flag.



Events: NLB workout on Saturday. Some festivals in the area.

Happy BD for Shiner tomorrow. Prayers for health as covid continues to impact people around the country and the world in general.

Naked-Man Moleskin:

Best 4 years of my life, since I joined F3. I changed so many things for the better, I cannot count my blessings. I thank this group for the support and encouragement along the way.

Also thank you for letting me bring rock in Italian, heavy metal in Icelandic, pop in Hebrew, not sure how to call that song in German that made me laugh, and in general a crazy playlist (I did drew the line at a rock opera in Turkish). I think it’s a good fit for F3, as it’s open for all men and we want to see different cultures represented as possible.

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