Assembly Line of Pain

AO: The Gladiator

When: 04/29/2021

QIC: Scratch-Off

PAX (16): Brownie, Shiner, Zohan, Laces, Fire Drill, Dreamer, Zuul, Tebow, Shrinkage, Vertigo, Snowbird, Cheneral, Tar Heel, Bo Knows, Speedo, Scratch-off


Ahh, back at the helm at the Gladiator, and what a morning it was. Tebow and YHC played a little game of “night-before-pre-run chicken” on Slack, and we both won. Or lost. Either way we were good for a few indiscriminate miles in the gloom.

My philosophy on pre-runs is: If you’re dumb enough to ask, I guess I’m dumb enough to HC. Also, my M and I made chocolate chip cookies last night which may have played into the pre-run motivation.

Okay…they weren’t cookies. It was just cookie dough.


First, YHC appropriately recited our disclaimer word for word, then we moseyed to the soccer field and lined up on the baseline for Warm-O-Rama:

  • SSH
  • Karaoke 18 yards, Bernie sanders back
  • Walking lunges 18 yards, mosey back
  • Inch worms 18 yards, Bernie sanders back
  • High skip 18 yards, mosey back
  • Quick mosey 18 yards, Bernie sanders back
  • Sprint


The Thang:

The PAX split up into 8 pairs, and YHC put on some bangin’ 90s hip hop. Honestly, the 3 toughest things about Q-ing is Counting PAX, Picking a playlist, and writing the Backblast. So stressful. Anyway, now evenly divided into 8 groups, the PAX were assigned a station. Station 1 was about a 400-meter run, and stations 2-8 were assigned an exercise to do until station 1 was back from the run.
We rotated through all 8 stations, ran some sprints, modified, rinsed, repeated, Circle of Trusted, then went home and took a nap.
  1. Run from the corner of the field around the parking lot
  2. Merkins
  3. Big boys
  4. Squats
  5. Burpees
  6. American Hammers
  7. Bonnie Blairs
  8. Carolina Dry Docks
4x wind sprints (to mid-field)
  1. Run from the corner of the field around the parking lot
  2. Dying cockroaches
  3. Alt Single Leg Romanian Deadlifts
  4. Diamonds
  5. Supermans (Supermen?)
  6. Merkins
  7. Big boys
  8. Squats
6x Wind sprints (to mid-field)
We were back to the flag in time for approximately 14 reps of Mary.


Not too many prayers or announcements this morning. I think the PAX were all still pretty winded. Get it?

We did talk about getting a NLB BD on the calendar and making sure everyone gives Tebow an HC for the May 8th Convergence. More info on Slack.

Naked-Man Moleskin:

We turned this BD into an assembly line that would make Henry Ford proud, and he’s been credited for saying, “My best friend is the one who brings out the best in me.” You guys forcing my lazy butt out of bed a few times a week is making me a better man, a better husband, and a better father. You are true friends. Thanks for allowing me to lead this morning.

Sorry for the wind sprints.

Leave a Comment