IronPax2020 Week 1 at the Hooch

AO: The Hooch

When: 08/31/2020

QIC: Homer

PAX (21): Speedo, Popper, Scrooge, Doughboy, Feathers, Birdie, Dinghy, Pavlov (FNG), Cougar, Maguire, Ballboy, Hanson, Saint20, Catfish, Sunshine, Boomer, Readymix, Meatball, Flo, Splinter, Homer


We were excited to see Cougar fresh off his recent graduation from US Army Basic Training… Excited to see how he’d tackle IronPax2020 and he brought an FNG with him. What a horrible idea, but this young gun FNG looked like he could handle the beatdown better than the rest of the PAX.

Homer, drew the short straw of proctoring and leading this LARGE Hooch group. YHC hoped that Feathers would be at the grassy area discussed on slack with some tunes, otherwise, it was going to be a long/quiet hell of a beatdown.


Short Mosey to far end of parking lot. Quick warmup. Likely not as needed on this one for the day. Alas, we SSH’d, Imperial walker’d, made baby arm circles, and windmill’d

Mosey to the upper flooded soccer fields at Perimeter Church. Saw that Feathers was onsite with his Karaoke machine. YHC Quickly realized we needed to find larger/lit and drier land, so we moseyed to far end of grass with plenty of parking lot and social distanced space to spread out.

The Thang:

The IronPax2020 week 1 is called Inspector’s Gadget. It sucked. That’s about all we’re going to say about it.

EMOM (called by app)- 3 burpees

3 Burpees (Begins Rd & EMOM timer)
50 Hand Release Release Merkins
100 Leg Raises
150 Jungle Boi Squats “2Spoonz Style”
200 Big Boy Sit-ups
250 Stationary Lunge Steps (ct ea leg as 1 rep)

Scoring: Total elapsed time beginning with the 1st Burpee and ending with the 250th lunge step.

*EMOM = 3 Burpees are performed at the beginning of every minute on the minute until all cumulative work is completed. Use a tabatta type app (SmartWOD Timer or Seconds) to run the EMOM.

*Each Burpee begins and ends in the standing position.

*Hand Release Release Merkins means that both hands are pulled off of the ground at the bottom of the merkin and 1 hand is pulled off of the ground at the top of the merkin.

*Leg raises require feet and knees to stay together through the entire rep. The top of the rep is reached when your ankles have passed above your hips and over your abdomen. The bottom of the rep is reached when your feet touch the ground.

*Jungle Boi Squats are a type of jumping squat. “2Spoonz Style” means that both hands touch the ground between your feet and are raised sideways until they are above your shoulders at the peak of the jump. This is an ode to Greenwood native DJ Swearinger and the hit he laid on Clemson tailback Andre Ellington.

*Big Boy SitUps are unsupported at the feet. No leveraging feet for assistance. Both shoulder blades touch the ground at the bottom of the rep. Both shoulders clear the hips at the top of the rep. Hands are free to use as momentum.

*Stationary Lunge Steps start in the standing upright position. Take a step forward until the Top knee is at a 90deg angle and positioned over the top of the foot. The Bottom knee should be at a 90deg angle and touching or almost touching (<1in) the ground. Step backwards until you are standing upright with both feet together at the starting position. This is one rep. Rinse & Repeat with the opposite leg. Count every step as a rep. (#EasyWay)
**No walking lunges! This is a stationary exercise so that the EMOM timer can be heard.

These strong men pushed through. We went over on time, but we left no one behind and all finished.

Mosey back to flag for COT. Along the way, there were several folks talking about the app used to proctor the beatdown. The 3 burpees EMOM that followed the “Ding” were pure Evil. It was mentioned that hearing that bell in our nightmares or hearing similar bells would bring back the burpee nightmare. YHC stored this away as an FNG naming opportunity.


With an FNG in attendance, we learned a little about the young Chattahoochee High senior, but he ended up with the F3 name, Pavlov. Surely in his life, whenever someone asks, how Johnson got the name, Pavlov, he’ll simply have to say, IronPax2020… week 1.


Naked-Man Moleskin:

Having to keep myself going and yelling at the top of each minute “Burpees” was hard. Gotta admit. There were several times myself, that I had to take the full minute to do 3 burpees and just prepare for the next 3 burpees. Inspector’s Gadget was rough, but we all got through it together. These men are incredible, and I look forward to seeing what the rest of the IPC month has instore for us.

Well, seeing… when I can see and when my glasses aren’t fogged over!

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