Pre-Valentine’s Day Gift Guide to Getting Lucky

AO: The Storm

When: 02/13/2020

QIC: Inseam

PAX (5): The Body, Mr. Hand, Swiper, Sculley, Inseam


YHC through out a pretty hilarious call out on Slack at noon the day prior. It read, “…So if you’re easy-waking, enjoy long walks under ruck at sunrise, and are always down to try new exercises then please give your HC below for a romantically-F3 good time.”

After 6-7 hours of abnormal silence, Swiper comes in with the perfect HC gif…but now things are just awkward. YHC wasn’t planning on having just ONE additional pax with him…the planned Monkey Humpers to Foreigner’s “I Want to Know What Love Is” would have been a little weird.

9 hours in and a couple more desperate call outs by Swiper and YHC,  YHC attempted to sweeten the pot by removing the promise of a “romantically good time” in exchange for a promised playlist consisting of only 80’s love ballads…

Alas, Sculley rolls in at hour 10 with the third HC. No one-on-one award eye contact tomorrow. Phew!


Mosey around the eye and back to the graveled  burpee pit of tears. Circle up for the following:

  • SSH IC
  • Weed Pickers IC
  • Sun Gods IC
  • Good Mornings IC (welcome Sculley)
  • Long mosey to first destination for Sculley to get loose

Let me set the stage. One year ago at BC, YHC (still having that new pax smell) watched as this weird dude jumped out of his car at 5:29 and 59.968 seconds in a cupid costume. This was a dude YHC had only heard stories of to this point. Turned out to be Swiper! That morning he gave the pax a lesson on the guide to buying a valentines day gift. Killer BD. Bring it back to present day, and YHC (having done the usual slack build up while not yet having any plan) googled V-day BDs and sure enough another Swiper BD from 2/14/17 came up. It was of similar nature…YHC took the hint.

Play list for today –

The Thang:

YHC set the stage and informed the pax in the following way = “I know we are all trying to get lucky tomorrow. Our gift selections will go a long way in dertermining just how lucky we each get. So here is a little gift guide for the M, starting from worst to best for getting lucky.”

  1. One 4 lb Box of Chocolates: ei-Quarter Pounders behind parking deck.
    • Traditional. 25=Merkins, 50=Squats, 75=Mnt Climbers (Alpha count), 100=SSH
      • (that road is more like 150 yards…aye!)
  2. Teddy Bear: ei-Bearmuda Triangle
    • Mosey to back behind Butcher n Brew
    • Bear crawl the 4 corners of that area. Stop at each corner and deposit 5 burpees
  3. Gemstone Necklace: ei-gemSTONE (coupon) Doras
    • Parner up, grab a coupon, begin dora
      • 50 Curls, 100 OH Press, 150 Rows
      • Partner 2 is running 50 yards and back
  4. Dozen Roses: ei-Dozens (like 11’s but one more)
    • Mosey the perimeter of the AO, stopping in what YHC had determined ‘excellent viewing locations’
    • Each stop we’d perform Monkey Humpers and Pickle Pounders. Starting with 11:1 and working to 1:11
  5. If all else fails…get her a Diamond Ring- ei: Diamond Merking Ring of Fire
    • After a mosey back to flag, we performed the above mentioned 5th routine. Holding plank and each pax giving 5 diamond merks

Circle up for 5 MOM. Round the horn style.


2nd F tonight. Quick prayer for LOVE and peace in this world and in our homes. Spread the love gentleman, do something nice for someone.

Boom! Beat the rain…but lets act like HIM (see above) and go help this sad clown selling workouts to literally 0 people this morning load his car in the rain.

Naked-Man Moleskin:

Enjoyed it fellas. YHC has been putting in some serious hours at work this last month, and the end in not in sight. Quite honestly, waking up even earlier and working out with you all is one of the best parts of my weeks this time of year. I feel better, the day seems shorter, I start in a better mood, I have something to look forward to, and most importantly I get to interact with quality HIM for an hour which breaks up the routine long days with nothing but eat-sleep-work. Aye! SYITG

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