I’m not smarter than a 5th grader

AO: The Gladiator

When: 01/23/2020

QIC: Zohan

PAX (14): Moonshine, Manchester, Scratch Off, Cheneral, Spandex, Postal, Hitchcock, Pony Tail, Tebow, Strikeout, Renegade, Speedo, Delicious, Zohan


37 degrees might seem cold, but after the 24-26 we had earlier in the week it felt like summertime! YHC had a nice workout planned in mind and completely missed out the risk of combining oxygen deprivation and advanced calculus.


Mosey, SSH, Merkins, Windmills, Hill Billies

The Thang:

We moseyed to the soccer field forĀ Crazy Eights

We run around the field and in the middle, drawing the figure 8. At each turn we stop for a workout, escalating.

The first part had Jump Squats, Big Boy Sit-ups, Carolina Dry Docks and Mountain Climbers (alpha count).

First turn we do 1-2-3-4 (1 jump squat, 2 sit ups, 3 carolina, 4 climbers), second turn 2-4-6-8, third turn 3-6-9-12 and so forth till the 8th stop for 8-16-24-32. Flatter Kicks for the 6.

Second part had American Hammers (alpha count), High Knees (alpha count), Plank Jacks and LBCs.

First turn we do 5-6-7-8. Second turn we do 6-8-10… wait. what? No, that doesn’t seem right. <YHC mumbling and counting on fingers>. The right count is 10-12-14-18, then 15-18-21-24, … all the way to 40-48-54-64.

The PAX, or most of them, were able to get it right by the 4th turn or so but YHC heard a lot of guesses on the right way to calculate and definitely got it wrong at one point himself. Just last night I was helping my 5th grader with his math homework and one would think I’ll be able to handle simple multiplication of single digits, but I might have set up the bar too high for myself there.

Burpees for the 6. Some PAX thought it would be funny to complete their LBCs in slow-mo.

YHC looked at his watch and saw 5 minutes to 6 and (incorrectly) calculated we still have 20 more minutes to go, so I called for an Indian Run around the field, drawing the 8 figure again. I then called to mosey to the Pavilion but the PAX reminded me that actually 6am is ‘Time’.

Naked-Man Moleskin:

Thank you, Tebow, for allowing me to Q this morning after you called first to replace Def Con 2. It was great seeing Moonshine again.

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