Bearway to Heaven

AO: The Hooch

When: 01/08/2020

QIC: Popper

PAX (19): Scrooge, Ready-Mix, Sunshine, Birdie, Homer, Cougar, Doughboy, Feathers, Meatball, Pooh Bear, Saint2O, Boomer, Splinter, Simba, Puff Daddy, Flo, Ball Boy, Julius, Popper


Don’t know about you, but the opulent holiday season diet left YHC feeling like a blimp. Which got YHC thinking about all things blimps, like zeppelins. Like Led Zeppelin. Ok we’ve got our theme. Not surprisingly the Exicon is stocked with Led Zeppelin themed routines. The pre-blast chatter on the Hooch Twitter board (soon to be Slack for these Hoochies) was filled with pun-arific anticipation.

4 PAX for an extra credit Shield Lock Run, then 19 PAX assembled in the gloom for the beatdown.


Disclaimer, then mosey around the parking lot, with side-to-side, high knees and butt kickers. Circle up behind Twisted Taco.

Started up a shuffled Led Zeppelin Spotify playlist.

Continued the Warm-O-Rama with Side straddle hop, Weed picker, Hillbilly, and Moroccan Night Club, all IC.

The Thang:

Thang 1: BLIMPS

(BLIMPS. See what YHC did there? Eh?) A familiar routine at The Hooch / Bridge / Bushw0.0d. Mumble chatter added a nice accompaniment to our Zeppelin soundtrack.

  • 5 burpees
  • 10 lunges each leg
  • 15 imperial walkers
  • 20 merkins
  • 25 plank jacks
  • 30 squats

Rinse and repeat for a total of 3 cycles thru the list.

Thang 2: Bearway to Heaven

When YHC spotted this gem in the Exicon during BD planning, YHC threw up in his mouth a little. Intimidating on paper, this bear crawl suicides routine proved to be even more formidable in practice.

  • Start at starting line
  • Bearcrawl 2 parking spaces in length
  • Bearcrawl back to starting line
  • 7 burpees
  • Rinse and repeat 6 more times, incrementing by 2 additional parking spaces in length and decrementing by 1 burpee each time.

The final cycle saw the PAX bear crawling 14 parking spaces out and 14 back and 1 burpee. In total, Bearway to Heaven required 112 parking spaces’ worth of bear crawls and 28 burpees. More like Bearway to hell.

Thang 3: Stairway to Seven

Laughably short mosey to the non-bushy section of hill bordering our parking lot.

  • Robert Plant up the hill to street level and back
  • At bottom: Grab a piece of curb and do 1 derkin and 1 irkin
  • At top: 1 jump squat
  • Repeat, incrementing reps at bottom and reps at top by 1 each time, until the final cycle sees 7 derkins & 7 irkins at the bottom, and 7 jump squats at the top.

Mosey back to the flag


YHC posted DR in F3 Asheville last week and brought back this little beauty to The Hooch: Asheville Abs. Thanks to Pillsbury in F3 Asheville for the idea.

  • On your 6
  • 10 4-count LBCs IC with legs in birthing position
  • 10 4-count LBCs IC with legs in big boy situp position
  • 10 4-count LBCs IC with legs in reverse LBC position
  • 10 4-count LBCs IC with legs in fully upright position
  • Repeat in reverse order, this time instead of standard LBC movement it’s an elbow-to-opposite-knee (E2K) movement.

With 1 minute left, shout-out to Pooh Bear to call the next exercise. 10 4-count LBC IC. Really? I mean really?


Prayers for family members in various stages of recovery, receiving unsettling medical results, and in memoriam. Prayers for The Coliseum to continue gaining momentum and a foothold with Sugar Hill area PAX.

Naked-Man Moleskin:

As mentioned, YHC was feeling blimp-ish during and after the holidays. While YHC kept in a consistent workout routine, diet was totally indulgent. More confirmation that Dredd is dead-on when saying you cannot outwork a bad diet (cannot “out-King your Queen”). Beatdowns like today’s help, but diet is the most powerful piece on the chess board for avoiding the belly blimp. Here’s wishing discipline and preparation to the PAX of F3 Nation during the holiday hangover to design a good plan for your Queen to help shed the Dad Bod before beach season.

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