Nineteen Eighty-Four

AO: The Hooch

When: 07/24/2019

QIC: Popper

PAX (8): Boomer, Saint2O, El Matador, The Dab, Homer, Splinter, Meatball


YHC was born at a very young age, on a stormy suburban Chicago night on July 24, 1984, exactly 35 years ago to this day. Mama contended with the painful passage of a massive, bulging, and angry new being, whose appearance and temperament was not entirely unlike the hit 1984 movie Ghostbusters version of the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man (“Tubby Soft Squeeze” to Ray and Peter).

As Mama Bear basked in the glory of her newborn cub, the old doctor prophetically cried, “It’s a boy, who in 35 years will lead a savage troop of PAX on a quest for CSAUP in the gloom and humidity of the suburban Atlanta predawn.” (Roughly paraphrased)


The PAX were welcomed, disclaimer-ed, and treated to a familiar warmup sequence of warm-up lap, side-to-side, high knees, butt kickers, SSH, Weed Pickers, Imperial Walkers, and Arm Circles.

A sample of YHC’s favorite hit songs released in 1984 urged our heroes onto glory (once YHC found the volume button, D’oh!):

  • Jump – Van Halen
  • Ghostbusters theme – Ray Parker Jr
  • Born in the USA – Bruce Springsteen
  • Gimme All Your Lovin’ – ZZ Top
  • Footloose – Kenny Loggins
  • Thriller – Michael Jackson
  • Pride (In the Name of Love) – U2
  • The Longest Time – Billy Joel
  • Owner of a Lonely Heart – Yes
  • Pink Houses – John Mellencamp

The Thang:

This morning marked YHC’s inaugural Q performed on the Johns Creek High School path. New territory (for YHC) to begin a new year.

Thang 1

Mosey to the low wall by the shops for a strength warm-up. Grab a piece of wall and do 10 Derkins, 20 Step-Ups, and 30 Dips OYO.

Thang 2

Assemble at start of path. Mosey from one lightpost to the next, performing ascending Squat-Jumps (1 at 1st post, 2 at 2nd post, etc). Broad Jump across the bridge. Restart at 1 and resume ascending Squat-Jumps from one lightpost to the next. Mosey to coupon pile once in sight.

Thang 3

Dora. Partner up, grab a rock coupon (shun the frumious poison ivy), and laugh at YHC & his partner Boomer for YHC’s misguided choice of the largest option. Carry coupon to bottom of hill.

100 Plank Destroyers

  • The Hilton Head Island PAX introduced YHC to this one on his recent vacation on that blessed isle.
  • 1 rep = Makhtar N’Diaye + Merkin + Alternating Shoulder Tap + Plank Jack
    • Makhtar N’Niaye official Exicon entry: From plank position, a 4-count exercise in which you put each elbow to the ground and then back into regular plank. Named for late ’90s Sengalese basketball player at UNC notorious for his elbows. [It’s true, note the pic.] Pronunciation: MAC-tar JIE – rhymes with “sky”.

  • YHC gave a grim demo of the Plank Destroyer
  • Grim demo evoked mumble chatter among the PAX
  • Mumble chatter evoked manly encouragement from YHC

200 Bicep Curls with coupon

300 American Hammers with coupon

  • Here, the folly of YHC’s coupon choice was undeniable and the coupon was jettisoned
  • End Dora early due to time running out

Deposit coupons back on pile. Indian run back to flag. No time for Mary.


Announcement and prayers over emerging Thursday AM F3Alpha AOs (Crop Duster run-focused AO at Ocee Park; [Name TBD] boot camp AO at Peachtree Corners town green by Revelator Coffee).

Prayers for calm strength and humility to navigate tense interactions with coworkers humbly and graciously.

Naked-Man Moleskin:

YHC joined F3 just over 10 months ago. In the dimensions of Fitness, Fellowship and Faith, this past year has been YHC’s most blessed to-date, with these brothers in the gloom to thank. Honored to struggle alongside you all and grow better together.

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