Fifty, Part II

AO: The Wreck

When: 06/21/2019


PAX (30): Defcon 2, Switch, Bronco, Sprocket, Windex, Free Pie, Double-D, Rewind, Swamp Donkey, Deadbeat, Yankee, Rooney, Squeegee, Moped, Thud, Scrum, Virginia Slim, Grease Monkey, Manchester, Squeak, Ozzie, Circus, Grasshopper, Stroller, Thumper, Miller Time, Bieber, Zima, Spandex, AFLAC


Part of the calculus in planning a RESPECT birthday BD for a PAX slightly older than you is the fact that said plan may come back around in spades.  This fact was not lost on YHC leading up to his fiftieth, as he knew certain PAX were scheming to up the ante on what has become quite a tradition at the Wreck.

Where to start – there were early signs that something untoward was afoot:  total lack of chatter on Slack/#wreck the evening prior, PAX gathering in the school parking lot at T-20 (Q did some recon), only PAX from Gladiator in attendance at T-5.  Just as Q was getting ready to announce an off-campus BD to evade his brothers in pain, he noticed a wolf-pack of familiar PAX rumbling across the parking lot with shenanigans in tow.  Before he knew it, Q was getting pelted by liquid artillery.  After some fleeting thoughts of evasion, YHC decided to let the boys have their fun as the next 45min would amount to payback depending upon whether Sprocket was going to honor tradition or not.

Now, speaking of tradition, it was Q’s understanding that precedent was set last year with Virginia Slim’s RESPECT birthday BD:  all PAX reaching the big milestone would no longer be required to wear the traditional 20# vest.  Apparently Sprocket is getting old and losing his memory, or he doesn’t give a crap about precedent because it was made abundantly clear that Q would be donning the restrictor plate for the big occasion.  It would be an inconvenience, but not enough to deter Q from bringing the heat for the big five-o.


Short mosey up the main road toward the large parking lot adjacent to the football/lacrosse fields.  After a quick welcome and disclaimers, warm-up with the following:

  • SSHs
  • Imperial Walkers
  • Abe Vigodas

The Thang:

YHC directed all PAX to fetch a lifting coupon and follow him to the hill.  If Q’s being honest, he really couldn’t plan anything elaborate given the unknown nature of events that could be unfolding on this day, which meant that PAX could look forward to a BD of a birthday past (, one that Bieber would remember fondly as his first F3 experience.

With coupons in tow, head toward Malbec Mountain for 7 rounds of the following:

  • 7 Man-Makers at the bottom, carry coupon to top of hill.
  • 10 Squats (we did Stone Mountains last year, but Q didn’t want to end up concussed from the restrictor plate).
  • Leave coupon, run up to the gymnastics lot and perform 7 Burpees at the top.
  • Run back to where coupon was left and perform 10 Squats before carrying coupon to the bottom of hill.
  • Rinse/repeat.

Any thoughts of getting through an antic-free BD were dashed around round 4 when YHC returned to see all PAX working on Mary at the top of the hill.  After some quick admonishments and a rally to finish the final 3 rounds, PAX got moving again.

With 10 minutes remaining and early finishers lunge-walking with coupon for the six, Q called recovery and gathered all PAX at the top of the hill for a gun show.  Keeping it simple, alternating sets of bicep curls and tricep extensions with coupon with 4-count reps increasing to 10.  Once completed, direct all PAX to deposit coupons into the ditch near the playground and head back to the flag.

After a quick round of flutter-kicks, Q audited PAX to see who owed him some extra Burpees.  Round 7 finishers would require 2, while Round 6 finishers would require 16 to make an even 100 for the day.  Finish with a round of American Hammers before time is called.


  • Heartfelt prayers for Virginia Slim and his family coping with a sudden loss of a loved one.
  • Prayers for Switch’s Dad.
  • Manchester b-day Q on Monday.

Naked-Man Moleskin:

Life is all about experiences, and this was one to remember.  Many thanks to all PAX who put forth the effort to organize or simply attend the festivities, as it meant more to YHC than you know.  I’m proud to call all of you my brothers, and look forward to starting my day with each and every one of you.  Here’s to another 50.  C’mon Rusty!

AFLAC out.

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