Burpee Balls, Portable DJ, Weight Vest, and Four Corners. Viking Establishes New Traditions At The Gladiator.

AO: The Gladiator

When: 05/14/2019

QIC: Viking

PAX (15): Stroller, Saint20, Spandex, Tebow, Puddle Jumper, Shrinkage, Manchester, Wicka-Wicka, Postal, Brownie, Kegger, Laces, Scrum, Moonshine, Viking


It was Sunday night when Viking checked the Q sheet to see what misery awaited him this week. Seeing that DC2 was listed to Q on Tuesday, and knowing DC2’s rehab was still in progress, YHC sent DC2 a text. DC2 was not quite ready to face the Gladiator PAX, especially when it was outside of his normal Co-Q role. So the keys were handed off to Viking, who figured he would wing it for the first time while pulling out some of his classic go-to exercises (with a few twists).

Viking purposefully missed the 0455 silly Fartlek-misery start time and showed up at 0503 instead. Once the decor was set in place and realizing it was 0506 and a brisk 50 degrees, YHC decided to take a warm-up run to Eves Road in order to pickup the silly Fartlek pre-runners (props to Laces, Saint20 and Stroller) at the Eves Road entrance.

Back to the flag at 0512, where a number of eager PAX awaited their morning of pain in the Gloom. Viking ran to his car, pulled out just three of the Burpee Balls, the weight vest, the Portable DJ, and informed the PAX of a new Gladiator tradition: every time someone Birthday Q’s, they GET to wear the weight vest, which can be anywhere from 4 pounds up to 20 pounds (their choice of weight). Viking, being extremely considerate, felt bad introducing this tradition without first christening it himself. So Viking strapped 10 pounds to his chest, loaded up the Portable DJ, blared the music, distributed three Burpee Balls, and placed his trusty “Make CPA’s Funny Again” hat on his head.


Viking instructed the PAX to pass the Burpee Balls while moseying. If a PAX drops a Burpee Balls, all the PAX GET to do 5 burpees. We moseyed to the north pavilion, while getting 15-20 burpees in along the way.

Once to the pavilion:
20 SSH
20 Imperial Walker
13 Weedpickers
20 Sun Gods, sobriety style
26 step-ups
20 Dips
26 step-ups
20 Dips

The Thang:

We moseyed to the North Pitch, while mixing in another 15-20 burpees along the way. (Those blasted Burpee Balls are really hard to see in the dark.) I believe there was some mumble chatter already, but YHC could barely hear anything as the Portable DJ was close to his left ear.

While the PAX held an air chair position, Viking made-up the instructions as he went:

Duck walk the short sides of the penalty box & bear crawl the long sides.
Corner 1 – 25 reps of Groiners
Corner 2 – 25 reps of Smurf Jacks
Corner 3 – 25 reps of Monkey Humpers (groin & legs were killing by this point)
Corner 4 – 25 reps of BBS

Lunge the short sides of the penalty box & run the long sides.
Corner 1 – 30 reps of Dying Cockroach
Corner 2 – 30 reps of Merkins
Corner 3 – 30 reps Plank Jacks
Corner 4 – 30 reps of Squats

Crab walk the short sides of the penalty box & run backwards the long sides.
Corner 1 – 35 reps LBC’s
Corner 2 – 35 reps ???
Corner 3 – 35 reps  Groiners?
Corner 4 – 35 reps Smurf Jacks

It was about 0549. Indian Run around the pitch, once again taking delicate care of the Burpee Balls, which were getting lonely during Four Corners. 10-15 burpees ensued around the Pitch.

0552, so Viking instructed the PAX to go back past the flags and to the east part of the parking lot, specifically saying “go to the hill.” I DID hear a few PAX moan at the mention of the “hill,” which is the mental abuse I was looking for. However, YHC had no intention to touch the hill this morning. Instead, we had time for Ascending Curb Crawl up to 5 reps. The gazelles pumped out 10 more Merkins as the six finished up, and it was 0557. Back to the flags, which were on the other side of the parking lot. As YHC led the charge to the flag, an enemy sniper (or was it friendly fire?) launched a Burpee Ball at the Q. A direct hit on YHC’s back almost knocked Viking to the ground. Considering whether or not to shrug off the near-death experience, YHC decided now was NOT the time to show mercy to his comrades. “5 Burpees! The Burpee Ball hit the ground!” yelled Viking. “Who is laughing now?!” I thought to myself. One of the PAX yelled “Was it really worth it?!” to the sniper (which I believe was Spandex, since he was giggling the loudest).

Back to the flag for some Mary. American Hammers for our fallen comrade, DC2. At cadence 6, a few of the PAX ensued in throwing more Burpee Balls at the Q as he led cadence.  YHC caught the first Burpee Ball, but not the 2nd. “5 more Burpees!” Many of the PAX were not happy, as they were hoping for the last few minutes of the BD to be comparable to a leisurely walk through your local freshly scented Anthropologie store. After the burpees, we picked right back up on cadence 7 of the American Hammers to make DC2 proud.


YHC shared some thoughts & quotes:

Serena Williams: “A champion is defined not by their wins, but by how they can recover when they fall.”

Ecclesiastes 4:9-12: “Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up…. Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.”

I’ve seen these principles played out in many areas of life, especially F3. There is something special and powerful about doing things together as a group as opposed to “going alone.” I’ve made some gains over the last 11 months because of F3, and I really feel our GROUP has made gains. Keep pushing each other, and leave no man behind.

Prayers were lifted for:
Stroller’s foster child and the child’s mother
Skid’s son (illness)
That we would  be humble as opposed to prideful. That we would ask for help as opposed to being stubborn. That we would help others as opposed to being selfish.

Naked-Man Moleskin:

The weight vest was tough, but a lot of fun. It fits well and doesn’t impede on your range of motion. Can’t wait to let others use this thing!

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