Suicide Central

AO: The Gladiator

When: 03/05/2019

QIC: Postal

PAX (12): Viking, Spandex, Buckets, Blackbox, Tebow, Puddle Jumper, Defcon 2, Moonshine, Shrinkage, Manchester, Brownie, Postal


For my VQ it seemed natural I would get one of the coldest days of the year for the Gladiator Pax given I grew up in Wisconsin and slept in a basement room that was often about 55 degrees. The temp was 26 but I promised the crew my beatdown would get them plenty warm. Of course I forgot how cold rocks are though and they don’t warm up easily. So let’s get ready to rumble …..


We moseyed to the tennis courts since that is where I wish I spent more of my free time and did our mostly traditional 15 side straddle hops and then 15 Hillbillies to get the blood flowing. Then, integrating tennis concepts a little to the group we did what I call a “Tennis Round Robin”. You start at center of tennis court baseline, run to the net and do a split step right before the net, then slide to the left Doubles line, run backwards to baseline, slide right to center baseline, run back up to net/split step, slide right to Doubles line and then turn and run like ur chasing a lob, before sliding back to center baseline for 1 set. We did 5 sets of that in 4 different groups using half of 2 different courts. Hint: You probably can’t have more than 4 guys per half court.

The Thang:

Now that we really had the blood pumping, we next moseyed a short distance to the rock pile grabbing 2 rock coupons per man. The drill was 25 Curls and then a run all the way up the hill and back with your (extremely cold) coupons in hand and then 25 Shoulder Presses, run up and back, 25 curls again, up and back and finish with 25 Shoulder Presses. A never realized how cold rocks can get. Live and learn.

From here we moseyed over to the soccer field for the Basketball Leg of the beatdown. I played basketball in high school and sophomore year in particular I was in the best shape of my life. So why not integrate b-ball? Cones were placed at ¼, ½, ¾ and full “court”. First round we did Suicides composed of run to ¼ court, run back backward, run to ½ court, then backward, ¾ court, back and then full court and backward. Round 2 was Bear Crawl to ¼ court, lunges to ½ court, bear craw again to ¾ and finish with bear crawl. That’s when I started really feeling it. Round 3 was another round of suicides except the return run was not backwards. Finally, Round 4 was what I call “Suicide 25s”. Run to ¼ court do 25 Merkens and run back, run to ½ court for 25 LBCs and back, run to ¾ court for 25 Jump Squats and back, before finishing with 25 Mountain Climbers. We moseyed back to the flag and someone told Blackbox to name the drill and he lost his mind in that moment and called out Burpees. The Pax grumbled but did 10 before finishing like Superman on this super cold morning.


Tebow informed us until tax season ends Laces is out of commission. The lame old taxes excuse for not working out. Sheesh. Between giving kidneys and taxes, I am getting tired of these lame excuses. The group was either too tired, confused or getting cold again to think of any other announcements.

Naked-Man Moleskin:

I really appreciate such a good turnout from my brothers on such a cold morning. Peace.

Leave a Comment