Coupons ‘n Confusion

AO: The Wreck

When: 12/19/2018

QIC: Virginia Slim

PAX (): AFLAC, Haggis, Mad Dog, Blue, Yankee, Divot, Hat Trick, Turbine, Deadbeat, Crablegs, Raider, Foley, Bear, Miller Time, Swamp Donkey, Sparky, Double D, Sellout, Bieber, Sqeak, Goat, Sprocket, Virginia Slim


You just have to love a Virginia Slim Q, as it usually means a coupon BD coupled with a healthy dose of confusion and Q mumbling about himself in third person the entire time.  It also typically means forgetting to post the BB, which in itself presents an opportunity for YHC to editorialize and keep it real with the PAX as to how it actually went down.

So, Slim was apparently up the entire night pondering how to Make Cinders Great Again (MCGA) when it occurred to him that 2 decks of cards would be better than one (because of course).  A border-line Kotter these days (fart-sacking to rest his purportedly aching back), Slim planned on a modified cinder deck o’ death with some extra running mixed in, the latter a surprise to anyone who knows him.   As 0530 approached with PAX posting in strong numbers, you could see the worry on Q’s face as his brain churned attempting to determine if he’d have enough coupons to go around.


Active warm-up with a mosey along the trail toward the football fields.  Q called for a variety of gait choices including backwards, left/right shuffle, backwards, and finally forward just as we were approaching our final destination.  Circle up for some additional warm-ups, including:

  • SSH (does Q ever move his arms on this one?)
  • Weed-Pickers
  • Windmills

The Thang:

Retrieve a coupon from Slim’s truck and head to the field where PAX would be met with a well-lit and organized tandem of whiteboards, each furnished with instructions and a deck of cards neatly piled at the base.  At first blush, it appeared that Slim spent a restless night preparing to run this BD like a Swiss watch.  In reality, nothing could be further from the truth.  As Q channeled his best Randy “Macho-Man” Savage impression and belted out instructions and mathematical formulas (eg: “run half the distance of the card”), PAX responded in-kind by initiating a rather impressive Chinese fire drill.  After 5 minutes of what can only be described (charitably) as a Charlie-Foxtrot, Q took a deep breath and explained his intentions in terms that all PAX were able to understand.

In the end, the game was simple – split the PAX down the middle and take turns picking a card from the respective decks.  Deck 1 would determine the coupon exercise, while deck 2 would determine the distance to run as follows:

  • Deck 1
    • Hearts:  Merkins
    • Diamonds:  Squats
    • Spades:  Kettlebells
    • Clubs:  Rows
  • Deck 2:  run the face-value of the card x 5 yds and back, regardless of suit, with anything 10 and above capping at 50 yds (ex:  6 of spades = 30 yds out and back).

All PAX would perform the exercises together, which meant alternating coupons and running.  Jokers (4 in total) called for an adjacent PAX to farmer-carry coupons to the 50 while his neighbor performed Burpees (switching turns each time).

With 6 minutes remaining on the clock, return all cinders to Slim’s coupon wagon and head back to the flag for some Mary, consisting of:

  • LBC’s
  • Diamond Merkins


  • Come join the Wreck PAX for a special Chistmas Eve BD and gift exchange – be sure to bring an unwrapped toy (for donation to foster kids) and a white elephant (for your fellow PAX).
  • Hogwallow has added Thursday to the schedule, with all PAX meeting at Woodstock park for a 45min mosey.
  • Continued prayers to the Murray family, long-time neighbors of the MW crew,  who are recovering from a devastating house fire.
  • Prayers for Foley and his M on the looming pregnancy check-up.

AFLAC out.

Leave a Comment