Operation: Homeboy Bro-Down

AO: The Paragon

When: 05/03/2018

QIC: Manning

PAX (): Whammo, Spanx, Garfield, Tebow, Harp, Tool Man, Drumstick, Kiffin, Cuban, Serena, Aquaman, Smurfette, Hasbro, Westside, Good Hands, Satellite, Dory, Chitwood, Hombre, Papa John, Ricky Bobby, Woody, Ha Ha, Fleetwood, Homeboy, Miller Time, Cricket, Bartman, Lawdog, Legionnaire, Titlemax

Thanks, Nantan HaHA for the route map

The Paragon, The Kodiak, Stoneclad, F3 Nation Flags

Delicious Post-Beatdown Breakfast – Brought to you by TrophyHusband Catering (Chitwood, Garfield, Dory, HaHa, possibly others)




Celebrate Homeboy’s 40th birthday with an epic beatdown without him finding out about it (sounds simple enough…)

Thankfully Drumstick made that Monday afternoon phone call – to remind me about Homeboy’s upcoming birthday. Spring into action and….yep, you guessed it…start another water cooler! Early on, it was clear that this was going to be one for the ages – filled with intense planning, ridiculously awesome coordination, and total confusion. Hey, what else would you expect from a bunch of country-folk…

Garfield was gracious to give up the Q, and the ideas started rolling in [insert chirping noises here]. Cricket took the parking covert-op duties, Lawdog shut down Stoneclad for the day, and the TrophyHusband and his minions got busy in the kitchen cooking up more than a plan.

As the big day approached, all seemed to be in order….until it happened. Fresh off a devastating anti-daddy-ball final cut, our fearless Kodiak leader spilled the beans. Water cooler chaos ensues. The plan is seemingly falling apart…until everyone realized who we were dealing with: Captain Confusion himself.

We’re good, calm down, stick to the plan, and, at 10:07pm…start planning the beatdown. D’oh!


The pax started gathering in the cover-lot. One by one, they kept on coming. Veterans, Kotters, Kodiaks, Paragonians. With the beatdown “plan” still rattling around in my head, we moseyed up to the side of the school and peeked around the corner. Much to our delight – there he was, sweating bullets with only 5-6 very confused pax wondering where all these big #’s have gone. We grabbed him, and moseyed off to the dumpster zone. He was oozing with confusion…


Not my best effort here with:

SSH 1-10

Hillbilly’s 11-20

Weed Pickers 21-30

Hillbilly Do-Over 31-40 (get it?!?!)

The Thang:

Continuing with the not my best effort theme (thanks to yap-dogs incessant yapping), partner up with someone you don’t know very well. You’ll understand later…I think, I hope. OYO, get to the “donuts” without walking, without running. Audible to force the karaoke crew into a minimum of three different exercises along the way. Starting to feel the stares from our guests and kotters. Yikes, get it together Manning.

Not to be deterred, it was time to focus and make the magic happen. Knock out 40 Bro-kins and then mosey to the SHS bus lanes for some:

Partner Bro-Frogs!!

With your partner, a little leap frog x40 and then a lap around the retention pond and back to the start. Agressive plan for 4 rounds was quickly audibled after the look I saw on TitleMax’s face. Bro, I can’t feel my legs. Yeah, me neither, bruh.

Some serious “heard@f3” chatter going on here led mostly by Garfield with some too-close-for-comfort head scraping, and Ricky Bobby sweating beads of garlic. After two rounds of Bro-Frogs, a Legionnaire-led round of BBSU’s, and a punishment round of 40 Bro-squats thanks to Cricket’s whining – things were finally back on track!!

Speaking of track – another long mosey up the big staircase down the Hill of Pain, and over to the…locked track…Nooooooooooooooooooo! So much for the 400 Indian Bruh-n competition with the losing team having to do 40 bro-pees…

Speaking of Bro-pees – Mosey back up to the HoP for some Rocky Balbroas! And the crowd goes wild!! Hello?  Not making many friends here, except that ankle biting nemesis Lawdog who is perkier and annoy-ier than ever!

With your partner, run to the top and complete 40 Balbroas. Back to the bottom for 10 Bro-pees. Rinse and repeat x4. Yep, 40 total Bro-pees. You’re all very welcome.

Apparently we’re going to sprint back to the flag? Ummm, ok I’ll try to catch Lawdog (nope). And Smurfette went by me like I was carrying a piano on my back (I’ll be here all night folks!)

Circle (oval) up for some MARY:

Lawdog: J-Bros

Woody: American Bro-Mers

Ha Ha: Bro-Cutters

Miller Time: T-Bros


Welcome Art! You are one of the most stubborn men I know. We will eventually wear you down. Deal with it [insert Gif here].

Reverse name-O-rama. I know, how clever. Hope y’all got to know each other better, or met a new BRO. Thanks for humoring me.

Prayers for all the amazing things happening at F3, for the upcoming HireHeroes Ruck event, for Homeboy’s dad, and for the unspoken prayers on all of our hearts. You men make me better. #isi

Happy Birthday, Bro!


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