XOXO – We love cats. FOOTBALL!! We love FOOTBALL!

AO: The Hurt Locker

When: 04/14/2018

QIC: C4, Manning

PAX (): Prem-o, Yogi, Harp, Cricket, Titlemax, Fleetwood, Kiffin, Garfield, Nomad, Dory, Crowbar, Thrasher, Homeboy, Frenchy

[Board of Pain]


Lots or pre-mumble chatter on this beautiful morning – mostly related to the cat/leg incident earlier this week. Something many of us wish we could unhear and unsee. Nevertheless, just as Dory came into THL on two wheels, and the flag was confidently planted by Cricket, we moseyed down to the field and circled up for some:

  • Cotton Pickers
  • Imperial Walkers
  • Monkey Humpers
  • HaPpY jAcKs

The Thang:

In support (not to be outdone) of our fellow brothers, Fia’s and 2.0’s who ventured south for the mightly Spartan Race – C4 and his twisted mind cooked  up Part 1 of the beatdown:

  • 30 Squats
  • 30 Burpees
  • 30 Lunges
  • 30 American Hammers
  • 1 lap around the field
  • Plank it up for the 6

Rinse and repeat (special thanks to Fleetwood for boldly going where no man was willing to go) – asking C4 how many times we were going to do this. To our pleasure – we were sufficiently exhausted and he mercifully let us finish after round 2.

Turning things over to Manning who deftly pre-positioned the torture devices for:

Part 2

Report to the 50 yard line and turn your attention to the white board. Class is in session, boys.  Since it’s Saturday and we had a crazy/awesome week of FNG’s, new and actual 0.0 beatdowns led by The Mole, Lawdog/Cricket, and one of the weirdest Water Cooler weeks ever – we decided a little fun and games would be a great way to wrap it all up.

Partner up and decide upon the QB/Receiver combo. Choose your play wisely – the penalty for a dropped pass is not going to be bueno. The ball PSI is perfect (just like TB12 likes it) and despite an awkward full body warmup catch by Homeboy (yikes) we’re ready to go.

Pretty good start with some conservative pass/completions by the pax as we ease into part 2.  D’oh – that first incompletion was not received well by the pax. Line up on the goal line and sprint 100 and then perform 100. Four incompletions led to 100 squats, 100 Raise da Roofs, 100 SSH, 100 LBC’s. You can thank Dory for your current leg dysfunction.

A couple nice receptions by Cricket, Crowbar, and Fleetwood (among others), and a twisted ankle, and a tweaked knee (hello F3DL) rounded out this part of the day.

An brilliant audible by Captain C4 for a 5v5 sudden-death shirts/skins game was a perfect way to close things out. Homeboy and Garfield had their shirts off in record time. Line of the day to Garfield “Guys, I promise I’m not a criminal…” Haha, we’re not so sure 😉

After a couple ducks and a coverage sack, Titlemax rallied back with a nice completion to Nomad to get his squad going. Major blown coverage there – you know who you are! As time expired and as the middle school lady laxers were arriving, T-max connected on a nasty strike over the middle to a leaping Cricket for. the. win!

Shirts quickly back on and mosey back to the flag for the:

Oh wait – NO MAN LEFT BEHIND!!! All pax back to Frenchy who was gutting it out with that wrenched knee. Way to push through, brother.


Prayers for our Spartans, our M’s and our marriages. For our 2.0’s and for those headed off to House of Hope. We are blessed with one servant leader after another. It truly is contagious. Amen!


Special thanks to Spice Boy for the joe and the snacks!

Shout out for great representation by The Paragonians!



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